Review of The Boy

The Boy (2016)
4/10
Pervy Porcelin Doll
31 March 2016
Warning: Spoilers
The Boy is about a creepy ass doll that is treated like a person, and who Walking Dead star, Lauren Cohen is tasked with nannying in a equally creepy ass house.

First off, the film isn't scary, and this is coming from someone who is very easily scared (if you exclude the doll giving Greta a peanut butter sandwich scene God Damn!). This film most certainly won't follow you out the movie theatre. You can see that the filmmakers really tried to build suspense and tension albeit through conventional means like; a spooky house, corridor wondering at night, dream sequences, china dolls and a few jump scares littered throughout. But, although an attempt was made, the result has little impact bar a few expected reflexes.

The Boy is unfortunately one of those horror movies that contains; poorly shot scenes (yes I'm talking about the parents suicide), plot holes, hundreds of unanswered questions originated due to poor logic and also, unintentionally hilarious moments.

I must say that Brahms is one pervy china doll. Literally for the majority of the film all this doll does is steal Lauren Cohen's clothes and just stare at her in general including during sexy time. To be honest it is clear that the reason she was chosen as the nanny was because of Brahms sexual attraction towards her, but to me, a perverted doll with the hots for his nanny is simply laughable.

I have to bring up the parents suicide scene because I could not stop questioning and laughing at it due to its visuals and logic. Firstly the couple pick up a rather large pebble, about the size of their hand. Why? Was the pebble "so heavy" that it drowned them? Maybe if they took a dozen plus (of the same size or bigger) then put them in their pockets, THEN I may believe it... But no. One pebble equals drowning. And if that wasn't hilarious enough then the fact there isn't a shot of the two with their heads underwater is also baffling. Allow me to elaborate. The couple look like they went for a good ol' swim and then suddenly, jump cut, they disappeared, although I understood what the filmmakers where going for it could have been made much clearer and did not have to look so darn goofy.

The ending. The ending to The Boy is aimed to be ambiguous, but probably not to the degree I found it so. So the big reveal of the film is that Brahms never died and was hiding in the walls of the house, moving the doll for 20 years... Why has he been in the walls for 20 years? I can understand initially to hide from the police due to killing that girl but 20 YEARS!? He could've surely come out years ago couldn't he? Also the final shot of the film is probably the most confusing shot in the entire film. The doll is put back together again by someone hidden from the camera (most likely undead human Brahms)... But why? Who is going to come to this house anymore? The parents are dead, the nanny and grocery man are long gone so who? And don't even get me started on the "HE'S STILL ALIVE" implication here.

Overall the Boy is a not so scary horror movie that, to be honest, has one or two moments I must confess, but for the most part is heavily flawed with; plot holes, formulaic scares, unintentional Hilarity, lack of explanation in its logic etc. It's meh, but if you like horror films then maybe check it out, or not, up to you but it just isn't for me.
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