I think I've got Fred Olen Ray's schtick down now. After watching however so many of his movies, I think this is his approach: to take a completely trite excuse for a story that anyone who has ever seen a horror movie could recite in their sleep and then suck it of any of the life and possibility of interest it ever could have had. His movies are usually short, barely clocking in at over an hour, and that entire first hour will be "characters" wandering around doing absolutely nothing of interest and certainly nothing that will invest them with a personality, or give you any reason whatsoever to care about them at all. After he has lulled you to sleep better than your grandmother could when you were six months old, he'll start deploying with the actual "horror" movie stuff, ie. gore, but as I said, you'll be asleep or perhaps even comatose by this point.
In the first hour of a Fred Olen Ray movie, he carefully constructs as many barriers between you and caring about his movie as he can. In the last ten or fifteen minutes, he throws the things you probably watched the movie hoping to see at you, ie. the blood and guts, but you probably gave up at barrier 3 or 4 and have long since stopped paying attention to the movie and started doing something else.
"Scalps" has a few extra barriers between you and it, aside from its most sturdy, ie. the tedium of it. These are the picture quality and the sound. The movie looks like it was filmed through mud. You can barely make out what you are seeing, anyway, so even if it wasn't boring and pointless, you wouldn't be able to see it.
The sound was obviously all recorded in post production, making it stick out like a sore thumb and sound entirely unnatural and distracting throughout the entire movie. It makes you want to watch the characters lips at the beginning at least, knowing it's probably totally out of sync, but then you realise that you can't really see their lips - remember? The movie was filmed through mud.
The plot is something to do with college students (I guess) going to stay in an Indian burial ground. They wander around doing nothing and saying nothing of interest for an hour until they are killed in a variety of admittedly gruesome ways. One is clubbed from behind by something that looks like a topless Dame Edna Everidge. In the movie's most noteworthy scene of violence, a woman is, indeed, actually scalped, so at least there was a reason for the title other than the racist exploitation of Native American myths the movie engages in.
The scalping scene may not look all that realistic, but it must have cost some actual money. If they could afford to do that, why couldn't they have come up with a plot for this mess, a boom mic, and a camera lens that wasn't covered in sludge?
In the first hour of a Fred Olen Ray movie, he carefully constructs as many barriers between you and caring about his movie as he can. In the last ten or fifteen minutes, he throws the things you probably watched the movie hoping to see at you, ie. the blood and guts, but you probably gave up at barrier 3 or 4 and have long since stopped paying attention to the movie and started doing something else.
"Scalps" has a few extra barriers between you and it, aside from its most sturdy, ie. the tedium of it. These are the picture quality and the sound. The movie looks like it was filmed through mud. You can barely make out what you are seeing, anyway, so even if it wasn't boring and pointless, you wouldn't be able to see it.
The sound was obviously all recorded in post production, making it stick out like a sore thumb and sound entirely unnatural and distracting throughout the entire movie. It makes you want to watch the characters lips at the beginning at least, knowing it's probably totally out of sync, but then you realise that you can't really see their lips - remember? The movie was filmed through mud.
The plot is something to do with college students (I guess) going to stay in an Indian burial ground. They wander around doing nothing and saying nothing of interest for an hour until they are killed in a variety of admittedly gruesome ways. One is clubbed from behind by something that looks like a topless Dame Edna Everidge. In the movie's most noteworthy scene of violence, a woman is, indeed, actually scalped, so at least there was a reason for the title other than the racist exploitation of Native American myths the movie engages in.
The scalping scene may not look all that realistic, but it must have cost some actual money. If they could afford to do that, why couldn't they have come up with a plot for this mess, a boom mic, and a camera lens that wasn't covered in sludge?