Review of Diamond Dogs

Diamond Dogs (2007)
1/10
Awful at every level
28 December 2014
On paper it seems like a not bad idea for a movie. Dolph Lundgren searching for a forgotten artifact ? Lundgren in an adventure movie ? Sure it wouldn't be as great as Indiana Jones movies , but it could be a fun little movie.

When I finally saw the movie I discovered that watching the lame Mummy movies with Brendan Fraser would be more fun. At least they had PRODUCTION VALUES. It's something that you won't find here. The whole movie looks so bad , so cheap that it's a wonder that someone bothered to make it in the first place. The way it is photographed makes it look like a bad amateur movie. The camera just can't stay focused, which can make the viewing experience very annoying.

The script is terrible. The title of the movie doesn't have anything to do with the story. At the end of the movie Lundgren's character is in the same place as in the beginning of the movie – a true sign of bad writing. There are cheesy voice overs explaining what is going on. The plot itself is very thin and almost non existent.

The whole movie is just a one big time waster. There are MANY scenes that are a filler , just to kill some screen time – people walking longer than necessary , talking longer than necessary… It's like the movie makers didn't believed in their own movie. There is very little action and the action itself is very poor , even for a B-class movie.

The acting is horrible , especially William Shriver as the main villain. He's got a squeaky little voice and a puny figure. How he can be a good villain ?! Dolph Lundgren and Nan Yu are trying to act , but they can't win with the horrible screenplay. It's interesting that they later made "Expendables 2" together.

Greed always makes everyone lose. It's a good moral , but it's not enough to justify the existence of this crap. Better watch „The treasure of Sierra Madre". I give it 1/10.
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