Review of Detention

Detention (2003)
1/10
A REALLY poor man's „Die hard"
28 December 2014
Warning: Spoilers
*SPOILERS*SPOILERS*SPOILERS*SPOILERS

"Detention" is another in the long line of "Die hard" clones. It unfortunately belongs to the very worst of them. The story is a mix between "Breakfast club" and "Die hard". There are some potentially interesting elements : a closed-for-weekend high-security high school, four teens in detention with a war-veteran teacher and a group of ruthless criminals trying to get in. It all however fails spectacularly because of COMPLETELY IDIOTIC screenplay. Maybe if you're in the right mood you will get some cheap laughs of this movie.

  • Why did the villains decided to use the school in first place ? - A lockdown on the school closes the fire exits as well ? - If the fire exits are closed how did the characters got to the roof ? - Why are the local cops arguing with secret service agents about their authority ? - When Dolph finds a dead body of security guard , why he DOESN"T TAKE his gun ? Is he blind or something ? - Why instead of using a first aid kit to heal a wound (a minor one) Dolph wastes time heating up the pipe to cauterize the wound - When one character holds a shield why doesn't the second one just shoots him in the legs ? - Why when a bad guy is down on ground the good guy runs away instead of kicking his ass ? - Why when the good guys hide in the gym it turn out to be an archery so they could protect themselves with the equipment ?


The story is full of unbelievable situations, lots of clichés and stereotypical characters. Lundgren is not one bit convincing as an ex-military turned a history teacher assigned to a rough school. The other actors are bad too , especially the bad guys who look like straight from "Police academy".

Action ? What action ? The bad guys wouldn't hit a sleeping elephant – their aim is SO BAD. The most iconic action scene in this movie happens when a bad guy with a sub machine gun and Harley Davidson tries to catch a handicapped kid (on a wheelchair) and FAILS TO CATCH HIM !

The budget of this crap is supposed to be a 10 mln $ , but I honestly don't see all those money here. I only noticed a very bad dialogues like : "Sorry, teacher! You get an 'F!"

This is crap. Dumb action movies like "Passenger 57" or "Sudden death" are far better. I give "Detention" 1/10.
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