Review of Saturn 3

Saturn 3 (1980)
5/10
You Have A Beautiful Body. May I Use It?
4 December 2013
Warning: Spoilers
I can understand what Farrah Fawcett was doing in this movie. She was just coming off the enormous success of "Charlie's Angels" and every young girl was copying her hair style. This was her chance for a career in feature films.

Then, too, I can understand why Kirk Douglas is in this movie. He was in his mid-60s and although he looked fine and retained his talent, fewer offers were coming his way.

But what is Harvey Keitel doing in this movie, made up like Bette Midler and dubbed throughout? He was at his peak, yet here he is, inexpressive, lacking in tonality, and more robotic than the android he creates. What a waste.

The story, by Martin Amis, son of the sophisticated Kingsley, borrows from "Silent Running," "2001," and "Alien," but at heart it's a clumsy respinning of "Forbidden Planet". Instead of Morpheus and his pretty daughter on a lonely planet, we have Kirk Douglas and Farrah Fawcett living comfortably together on Saturn 3, an isolated outpost on one of Saturn's moons. Their mission is to grow plants hydroponically to help feed earth's population.

Instead of their torpid existences being disturbed by a visit from Leslie Nielsen and his crew, they are visited by Keitel, who has brought with him a robot to "help" them on Saturn 3, and once the robot is working, one of the loving couple will become obsolete.

So far, so good. But then Keitel, with his phony voice, develops a yen for Farrah Fawcett. "You have a beautiful body," he tells her. "May I use it?" And why not? Douglas has his signature chin dimple but Fawcett has her appealing attributes too. We get a brief glimpse of both of them as she sheds her robe preparatory to playing doctor with Douglas. This was a disturbing scene indeed because there is no evidence that they are married, so I'm afraid their congress is improper.

I don't want to go on with the rest of this nonsense. It's not really worth this space or your time. The robot goes berserk, as robots representing the id are wont to do, and begins to bust some moves on Fawcett. I don't blame this freaky looking machine for having the impulse, but what on earth, or on Saturn 3, can its intentions be? The climax involves a plodding chase through the internal tubes -- all lighted with neon blue -- with Douglas and Fawcett running and the robot plodding like Schwarzenegger's humanoid in "The Terminator." There is a moment of self sacrifice. Fawcett gets to visit the earth for the first time in her life.
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