Review of Skinwalker Ranch

2/10
An utter dogs dinner of a movie
1 November 2013
Warning: Spoilers
This movie is supposedly inspired by actual events - in the same way that Robin Hood Men in Tights is inspired by the life of Robin of Locksley! In actual fact, it's a turgid piece of dross that plagiarises every bad camcorder-perspective movie out there.

It can't decide if it wants to be The Ring, Blair Witch, Cloverfield or Paranormal Activity - it has elements of all, but manages to be so much worse than the sum of its underwhelming parts.

MANY SPOILERS INCLUDING THE IMMENSELY YAWNSOME ENDING BELOW!!!!

Skinwalker ranch is a real place, steeped with the silly superstitions of many a plains region, but the movie makers have taken the basic idea and thrown literally every stupid cliché possible at it; ghosts, alien abduction, giant monsters, possession, black ops, and more. To make things worse, almost every time anything happens, it's from the security monitor view, which shows interference to show that "an event" is occurring, and of course, making it hard to see what is actually happening. All other paranormal events either happen in the dark, or with super fast action so that it's impossible to get your teeth into anything substantive.

Random "clues" are thrown at you throughout, but as the little boy literally vanishes in a flash of light in the opening scene, the alien connection is established from the start, so the disjointed and utterly arbitrary clues are all but pointless.

The basic concept is reminiscent of the infinitely superior Gibson flick Signs, but unlike that movie which reached a satisfying, if nauseatingly treacly Christian conclusion, this one heavy-handedly rushes to a frantic but unsatisfying crescendo, culminating in a Cloverfield-type reveal of an alien space craft without bothering to offer even the vaguest hint of an explanation. It's like the director just shouted "nasty aliens" then yawned out of the studio in disinterest.

Ignore marais-Alexander's review - this person is a clear plant, and I'm suspicious about erraticchevy's review too. I scare easily, but this was pathetic. Expect to see the current 5.3 score plummet as more genuine viewers dilute the high scores given by the people connected to this movie.
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