This one was a free rental from Redbox, and that's the good news. The bad news? I endured somehow - cup of coffee cooling in hand - the entire running time.
Wesley Snipes stars in 'GalloW Walkers' and it is a movie brought to us by Lions Gate. Here end the positives.
To be ... benevolently objective, which is more than this thing deserves, my guess is the writer was aiming for some kind of old west anime in the vein of 'Vampire Hunter D' hybridized with any other you name it Japanese undead monster hunter story you could choose from the long list available.
What it all turned out to be - if it can be identified logically at all - was a blend of Clive Barker style fantasy flesh ripping violence pulled right out of Hellraiser, a new lousy take on the Blade character, and a plot so disjointed you need a fortune teller to hit you over the head for trying to connect dots that look like squares.
The plot continuity is so bad that at one point two characters who've already met act like they are meeting for the first time. Out of place imagery, scene jumps to characters we've no idea about shown to us in the context that we should already know them and understand their roles, and a character recounting his entire life story in one block of dialog are but a few of the gems that await you in 'Gallow Walkers'.
Bad guys the hero has already killed but who now look different appear on screen but wait, the movie forgot to first show them getting taken out. Ugh! Enough. This film is just not worth picking apart.
If you enjoy watching your films with your face frozen in a sneer of confusion, boredom, aggravation and tragic hilarity, then go ahead and view Snipes' entry into the whatever genre this movie is calling itself.
Sergio Leone showed us all we needed to know about the "The Good, The Bad and The Ugly". Unfortunately for 'Gallow Walkers' it only gets uglier the longer you watch it.
Even if you really enjoy making fun of abominable examples of cinematic slag, even if that's how you make your living, save your eyeballs the agony and forget you've ever heard of this one.
One out of ten because that's the bottom line here, minus five for the rest of the entire experience.
Wesley Snipes stars in 'GalloW Walkers' and it is a movie brought to us by Lions Gate. Here end the positives.
To be ... benevolently objective, which is more than this thing deserves, my guess is the writer was aiming for some kind of old west anime in the vein of 'Vampire Hunter D' hybridized with any other you name it Japanese undead monster hunter story you could choose from the long list available.
What it all turned out to be - if it can be identified logically at all - was a blend of Clive Barker style fantasy flesh ripping violence pulled right out of Hellraiser, a new lousy take on the Blade character, and a plot so disjointed you need a fortune teller to hit you over the head for trying to connect dots that look like squares.
The plot continuity is so bad that at one point two characters who've already met act like they are meeting for the first time. Out of place imagery, scene jumps to characters we've no idea about shown to us in the context that we should already know them and understand their roles, and a character recounting his entire life story in one block of dialog are but a few of the gems that await you in 'Gallow Walkers'.
Bad guys the hero has already killed but who now look different appear on screen but wait, the movie forgot to first show them getting taken out. Ugh! Enough. This film is just not worth picking apart.
If you enjoy watching your films with your face frozen in a sneer of confusion, boredom, aggravation and tragic hilarity, then go ahead and view Snipes' entry into the whatever genre this movie is calling itself.
Sergio Leone showed us all we needed to know about the "The Good, The Bad and The Ugly". Unfortunately for 'Gallow Walkers' it only gets uglier the longer you watch it.
Even if you really enjoy making fun of abominable examples of cinematic slag, even if that's how you make your living, save your eyeballs the agony and forget you've ever heard of this one.
One out of ten because that's the bottom line here, minus five for the rest of the entire experience.