Killer Pad (2008)
1/10
Truly Terrible
17 April 2013
Warning: Spoilers
I am a fan of cheese, shlock, and camp in horror from time to time, but without a modicum of restraint and some semblance of narrative gravity it's impossible for it to work. What some people don't enjoy, or appreciate, or perhaps don't even understand is that it takes a measure of talent to make a so-bad-it's-good movie. One can't simply throw together a film absent meaning with the expectation that B-movie lovers will latch on.

Killer Pad fails on almost every level imaginable. I'm not sure whether to say the acting is over the top or just non-existent. As others have noted, there is a noticeable homoerotic undercurrent between the three leads, not in the least dispelled by the fact that none of them have sex, the strange boy-cuddliness they share, or that the only nudity is a fat, hairy butt. As far as the script goes, these characters behave completely nonsensically. There is only the pervasive notion to "get laid" throughout the entire movie. As a result of this alternate reality in which all this happens the deaths are neither shocking nor meaningful and it is impossible to connect with and thus have any sympathy for the 3 repressed buffoons.

As a note to any filmmaker reading this: no one over the age of 9 or 10 thinks fecal humor is funny let alone the gratuitous scene presented in Killer Pad!!! The remainder of the jokes are unfunny at best, downright painful at worst. This concept of the American comedy as a sort of live cartoon has been done far better before, even in the horror genre, and frankly wasn't all that funny to begin with.

The special effects are among the worst ever conceived and ought to have been omitted in favor of the expected nudity. Deaths were tragically uninventive especially for what sick and grotesque methods you'd think Satan himself could come up with

Overall Killer Pad is a steaming pile of incomprehensible garbage. There isn't a shred of emotion, suspense, shock, humor, or even decent gore to hold more than 5 minutes of this film together. Avoid at all costs.
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