Review of Killers

Killers (1997)
1/10
OMG: This is at the origins of Asylum, one of the most detrimental mini Studios ever!
28 December 2012
This film is so bad, so deprived of any structure,or redeeming quality of sort, so uncannily aware or unaware, mostly, uninterested, i believe, of showing any visible filmmaking training, or just, even some simple education,for that matter,so demented, and, so badly shot, so poorly acted by people, whose non acting abilities,or whose faces are so lacking in any department of even frugal,passable modeling material, it would be almost impossible to find any worse, just even through a very accurately long lasting casting search, that all together, the whole thing comes out truly so depressing, and, demeaning, you may wanna give up on movies for a while, or, if you were just a little familiar with the Industry, you could only guess, such atrocity could have been made only by "that David Michael Latt", who has become these days (and, believe it or not, everything is still obviously possible,in this Country!) one of the "moguls" of a terrible,and, utterly detrimental, annoying, poisonous, little studio, that's making, supposedly, a picture every month, and, it is called "Asylum"! Oh well! lol But, what's even worse news than all the above mentioned, it is that the Asylum got itself a DEAL with the Sy/Fy Channel! And,that most of their films are even distributed largely everywhere, all over the World,in DVD! Now,after watching "something" so unbearably bad, such as "Killers", you may even be able to understand, why, lately, those Sy/Fy movies have been all so intolerably bad, some real stinkers, that are irritating a half of this Country, but, that are yet still getting made, and, not only for cheap, but, also, normally shot in a few rushed days, by crews resembling more a little group of juvenile students in shorts, coming from some suburban Film School, than even the most crude, smallest,independent pedestrian crew, of any other B grade Genre movie, where, at least, some semi qualified and passionate individuals would be at least trying to get ahead in the business,instead of messing up almost with some sadistic pleasure! And,shall we bother to mention,as well,that, here at "the Asylum",they normally use some "incredible" sets, such as hidden few woods,just out of the sight of the LAPD's police jurisdiction,so that the producers can even pocket the budget originally planned for shooting permits, and,then, for interiors,they move in, as a treat, in some of those untidy kitchens,in the apartment of one of those vapid PA's,they hire for way below scale, while,all the rest of the assembled,often, senseless footage, is edited in, with lots of other B rolls, or stuff shot (very, very badly)on a blue/green screen, and, helped with guts to look OK(since, at least, they've got to eventually put together some vaguely promising trailer) by some OK(when you're lucky..that is!)CGI work, normally virtually enhanced by a cheesy, bloated to levels of unconventional,and, previously unheard stupidity, music score, unintentionally laughable, wildly inappropriate,and, most of the times, recycled(obviously) from some "Gaudi" piece from a Studio film's library's left over,either robbed,or bargained down for a few bucks, and, a couple of "promised" favors. Now, if this is a winning recipe, they might have - and,this is a must say, too!- achieved,for the very first time in History,ever, the financially remunerative creation of the first D grade movie Studio,able to get away with murder(truly, of what "murder",you may now ask? But, "the murder" of the real movies,of course! That's what I'm talking about, and, yes, even of the D grade ones!),since, without any style or ambition, class or preparation, nor passion for,at least, some of the most mercenary cult elements, ever abused, but, just actually by using a series of basic standard, fraudulent short cuts in very bad filmmaking (if of that we can even still talk!) that, even people like Lloyd Kaufman of Troma's, would find way too plain, and,just a tad too cliché,to be at the end, even merely interesting, to bother in the making of a Z grade picture, out of each one of them! Yet,people keep on buying this crap,and,getting robbed,because of robbery, we are talking about,while,at the end of 'such presentations",they'd be discussing the end of what once was called the Golden Era of Hollywood, when, even D grade pictures had, at least, some dignity, and, if Corman was just a genius, at times, experimenting on a few LSD's bad trips,but, then producing little masterpieces,even someone clearly demented and disturbed,such as Ed Wood, had, at the very end of the day, a true mythical aura,next to all this! Just let me tell you, even a poor commercial for some of the cheesiest club in Reno,Nevada, could be easily Academy Award's material, by comparison to this Bologna, and, even with some right, and, appropriate argumentation's! That being said...
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