Critters 2 (1988)
7/10
Ballin'
26 December 2012
You didn't really think the Crites had been wiped off the face of the Earth, did you? Heck no. They've actually been hard at work propagating their species. In fact, a nest of their colorful eggs are discovered on the abandoned farm property featured in the first film. These are sold to a local hustler by a punk who's out to score beer and pornographic reading material. Said hustler then sells the eggs to the local church so they can be used in the town-wide Easter Egg Hunt.

Yeah. You can see where this is going.

Believe it or not, Critters 2 is much more well done than its predecessor. It's cheesier, filled with schlocky gore, and actually realizes that it's not going to ever be truly scary. Because of this, it ultimately feels like Gremlins 2: you know, the one where all of the little monsters reeked havoc on a Manhattan skyscraper.

The rip-off effect isn't quite as poignant as I had originally feared, though. Things quickly escalate from ridiculous to ludicrous, and it seems as if screenwriter David Twohy and Mick Garris realized that this sequel should be as absurd as possible. This time around the people of Grover's Bend are goofier than ever, and the Crites reveal they're ability to morph into one gigantic "critter ball" that carves a path of destruction throughout the community. The hilarity is also taken up a notch by the decision of one alien bounty hunter to undergo an incredibly fake/incredibly awkward transformation so as to represent a Playboy playmate. Watching a super model state gruffly, "Kill Crites," is a lot funnier than it probably sounds. There's innuendo worked into the equation in the form of extending intergalactic shotguns, and this manages to elicit its fair share of hardy-har-hars.

Is Critters 2 worth watching? It depends. If you like idiotic creature features that know how to successfully self-parody themselves, then "sure," by all means, give it a shot. Just don't be surprised if you find yourself rolling your eyes just as often as the Crites roll down the dusty streets of Grover's Bend.
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