Review of Love Bites

Love Bites (2011)
1/10
Not Very Romantic + Not Very Funny
29 September 2012
I don't understand why ANYONE is upset about this series being cancelled, because it's ridiculously bad, by which I mean ridiculous AND bad. I watched all eight episodes over the past two days and barely cracked a smile. And trust me, this kind of series should be right up my alley. I'm a 26 year old woman and I practically live for sappy romance, but this series just plain sucks balls. It's as though the writers had a brain-storming session to think up as many clichéd romantic scenarios as they could, then took the very stupidest and most obvious - not to mention HIGHLY unfunny - ones, and came up with fifteen-minute-long skits based around each one, which they then lumped together to fit eight hour-long time slots. What you're going to get here is the homophobic mom who can't deal with her gay son's relationship, the frumpy husband who gets the chance to join the mile-high club with the ZOMG #1 CELEBEAUTY ON HIS FREE PASS LIST (!!!), the saint who's having her sister's baby and is so fake-nice that you're going to want to punch her face in every time she shows up on screen and demands that her parking ticket be taken away because, like, *choosing* to be pregnant with someone else's kid is, like, TOTALLY the same as being handicapped, the woman who can't buy a house with her frumpy husband because she previously had sex in said house with some other douche-nozzle, the heart-broken weirdo who's seduced by the sleazy older lady and taught to be a less clingy boyfriend ... etcetera. Oh, there's also some cancer thrown in, but don't worry: you won't actually care. There were three skits I genuinely enjoyed: the one with the school dance, the one that followed, with the astronauts, and the one with the creepy dad who was ruining his eight-year-old daughter's life. They make up one episode out of eight. The rest had me staring at the screen like this: o_O So, no, I do not recommend that you watch this series, because it's utter crap, and I am now going to do a happy dance because LOVE BITES has been cancelled, which means I will never under any circumstances end up watching another episode EVER again.
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