Review of Splice

Splice (2009)
Omg. Hahaha what did I just watch??!
25 April 2012
Lol... Seriously, what did I just watch?? I can't decide if this movie is brilliant, cheezy, profound, juvenile, disgusting or the biggest turn-on since "I Spit On Your Grave". I'm not sure if you'll love or hate this flick, but if you will definitely NOT forget it.

As you can guess from the movie posters, the story is about an artificially-engineered humanoid who's pretty hot. Let your imagination take it from there. What makes this story so memorable is that the writers aren't afraid to take it wherever it needs to go. And then some. Like if you thought "Species" was perverse, it looks like "The Flying Nun" compared to this.

Just to throw some words out there: incest, bestiality, rape, science, incest. And yes, I know I said it twice.

I found myself, in the depths of my twisted mind, thinking "woah, wouldn't it be crazy if (such and such) happens..." and sure enough it does, only to be followed by "oh but they wouldn't dare let (such and such) happen..." and sure enough it does again. Normally I would say predictability is a flaw, but in this case it's thrilling. The whole experience is like a voyeuristic romp, testing the limits of how screwed-up the writers' (and your own) imagination can get. The point being, I'm sure, to show just how morally wrong it is for scientists to engage in vivisection & the creation of life. This is like Frankenstein on steroids.

Like seriously, my hippie brethren, put down your picket signs and just show this movie on street corners... You'll see an end to vivisection overnight.

Parts of this story seemed ridiculous & comic booky, but just when I'm about to write it off as childish tosh it introduces some incredibly complex themes like a Greek play. You think Oedipus had problems? Hahaha Oedipus never saw SPLICE. It would make him go crying to his momma.

The more I think of it, I think this film is brilliant. Much like "Starship Troopers" was a deep socio-political satire disguised as a campy action flick, I think SPLICE gives us a techno-moral satire disguised as a thriller. But like I said, I have no clue if this is masterpiece material or just plain cheese. Most likely the filmmakers deliberately used elements of both.

If you like scifi satires like "Starship Troopers", "District 9", or scifi morality plays about the creation of new lifeforms as in "Solaris", "Moon", "Alien Resurrection", or the one that started them all, "Frankenstein" (2004 miniseries, the best version), maybe with a bit of "Species" eroticism & "Rosemary's Baby" & "The Omen" & "Mommy Dearest" & "Flowers in the Attic" thrown in, then this is for you. I think...

By the way, y'ever notice how aliens & evolved humanoids always look just like Bjork? Just sayin...
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