2/10
Megashark faces off against a prehistoric harbinger of poorly rendered destruction
15 June 2011
Warning: Spoilers
Everybody's favourite Armour-piercing shell proof shark is back, and its not alone. Accompanied by a 1500-foot long prehistoric harbinger of poorly rendered destruction, the Megashark leads a band of intrepid experts and the US Military on a wild and often confusing romp around the globe. The trouble begins when the Megashark finds something more delicious than US Naval Frigates, namely the eggs laid by the Crocosaurus. As the tension rises between the two pinnacles of Computer Generated Imagery, the US Army plots the annihilation of the two animals, conceiving a plan including 'hydro sonic balls', the Panama Canal, and a whole heap of factual ignorance.

Masterfully dodging precisely-targeted cruise missiles and torpedoes, the pair rack up a significant body count, managing, it seems, to kill some people more than once, owing to the miracle of re-used footage. When the two beasts finally do battle, the US Military apparently prevail, utilising a rather timely volcanic explosion, leaving the two to descend slowly into the abyss. The corpses are never shown, leaving viewers expecting (and perhaps dreading) a sequel.

While it is important to note with this movie that the intention was never to create an action blockbuster, the meta-ironic farce approach the Asylum takes doesn't really do it for this film. Hopefully self-aware, the scripting is clunky, the factual ignorance is inconceivable, and the special effects are non existent. Stuck somewhere between a spoof and a low budget, try-hard blockbuster, this is one to see for those with very low expectations.
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