Blue Valentine is a complex drama as it requires the viewer to take a step forward beyond the visuals and in to the depths of the psychological world of the protagonists and how they operate as human beings. The viewer needs understanding of their life experiences and how this effects their ability to love and be able to take part in a loving relationship. I really liked the film for these reasons - it stretches the viewer beyond the superficial and in to the psychology of love and why a relationship may fail due to unresolved issues and failures in early family relationships. The fabric of the story revolves around a kind young man who is drifting and without education. He yearns for love and it becomes clear that his yearning is also connected to his lack of family in early life and mother abandonment. He meets a lovely intelligent young woman who is hoping to become a doctor - she has a weakness and that is rooted in a promiscuity and lack of true connection with men - this is due to her father being a bully which is clearly shown. Fate throws these two young people together and a pregnancy issue brings them to marriage - whether or not the child is truly his is never totally explained. However, what is clear is that both of them are looking for love and the child serves as a catalyst for deeper connection. As the story emerges in the form of flashbacks, we are shown the gradual deterioration of a very promising beginning. I can pin this deterioration on a few factors which the film masterly leaves in the viewer's consciousness to discover. Firstly, the girl is not honest - she is not honest to herself and to her life wishes. She does not make decisions based on self awareness even though with her intelligence she is capable of that. She uses the love of the man to see her through a stage of being a mother that she has chosen but not with her whole heart. Meanwhile, the young man is not without flaws but he cannot find the structure in himself to improve himself as an individual; he sinks into a kind of lethargy probably sensing that he 'is not good enough' for the girl but not able to comprehend that if he had moved into education and goals, she would have respected him more. The film then moves into the territory of what we are capable of in terms of emotional damage in early life. This is a heart wrenching drama as you can see the potential of their love and how it is eroded by their subconscious destructive mechanisms and inability to grow together. The acting is SUPERB; I have total admiration for these two actors for these very difficult roles. I would like to conclude that Blue Valentine is not primarily a love story; it is fundamentally a story about human complexity and the journey it takes to shake off the past and to re-define the personality THROUGH love for another individual. Unfortunately sometimes the demons that people carry and the burdens of childhood are too strong and too overwhelming to survive even the greatest love. We are more than just emotion and in the pursuit of a loving relationship we need to be brave enough to improve ourselves, seek help and reach out for ways to grow within the initial love attraction and make it long lasting for life's long journey.
Review of Blue Valentine
