Sucker Punch (2011)
1/10
Do NOT watch this movie, unless you like getting sucker punched.
27 March 2011
Warning: Spoilers
I'm not sure how this movie got such rave reviews by some people, oh wait yes I can, the ONLY people who can possibly like this film are fantasy/anime/comic book junkies!

Where do I begin... First and foremost, the biggest upset of this movie is the plot, which flip flopped back and forth, with no real point or purpose for the most part - and not in a creative/unique way. The plot starts off in some wannabe 'Inception' idea, with a fantasy inside a fantasy. Baby Girl goes from about to get a lobotomy (odd enough as it is), to going to a story inside a story, which ends with the lobotomy ending (basically the story in between the lobotomy was never explained outside the fantasy, and couldn't have happened since the lobotomy happened from the beginning of her entering the insane asylum).

Now for the second level of the story: So Baby Girl and her pose are trying to escape their slavery from the burlesque/whore house, and they must obtain 4 items and a "mystery" in order to escape, which is all fine and good. However, in the process of obtaining these items, Baby Girl and/or her pose enter the third fantasy/story aspect of the film, which is COMPLETELY NON RELATED TO ANY OTHER ASPECT OF THE FILM, and is replaced with pretty much every popular fantasy/fiction battle scene from the last 30 years of movie history. From a generic samurai sword/battle battle, to a Nazi war scene with some mech machines, to a scene literally right out of Lord of the Rings with Orcs, a castle, and dragons, to a Unstoppable(runaway train scene)/Matrix/Terminator/Defuse a bomb scene, the plot is a mess! I was waiting for some fairies, elfs, werewolves, vampires, or unicorns to come up next, but I'm sure they are saving those for sucker punch 2!

Aside from the plot, there were some other major issues. The soundtrack consisted of about 3 songs (or at least the same artist since they all sounded the same), It was so predictable that there would be nothing but hard chick rock. I think the movie tried way too hard to emphasize the hardcore, tough chick act; yet they still always have to have women look like little sex dolls when they battle, with perfect makeup, tits hanging out, and short skirts.

The volume of the audio was WAY off, in some dialog scenes the words were barely audible, yet in the battle scenes, the sound was so loud that you couldn't even think, and after the movie my ears were ringing as if I were standing right next to the speaker at a Metallica concert. I even plugged my ears at some points to attempt to save my hearing, and I could still hear the sound perfectly. I'm sorry but blasting music does NOT make a movie better.

I typically enjoy fantasy/super hero movies, but this one failed on all levels for me. I feel there was almost no effort in the writing of this movie, almost as if it were an after thought. The actors all seemed second rate, the crying was clearly fake and lacked emotion. Oscar Isaac seemed like he was trying too hard to be like Joker from Batman, yet he showed no genuine emotion in the scene where he executes the two girls (that execution scene had no place in this film, it made no sense, look around the theater after this scene and you will see most people scratching their head).

If I could rate the CG alone, it's easily an 8 or 9 out of 10, but the terrible plot, mediocre acting, and overblown-everything ruined it for me. If you honestly enjoy this movie, you have to be lying to yourself, or foolishly attempting to defend it based solely on the fact that it has fantasy/comic book aspects.
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