3/10
Raiders of the Lost Arc!
14 March 2011
Warning: Spoilers
After years of hearing this film praised to the skies, I finally got to see this last night, thanks to our buddies at TCM.

For the benefit of you budding actors, the following is a blow-by-blow account of Maria Falconetti's portrayal of Joan of Arc, considered by many critics to be the greatest performance in the history of film:

Goes into Pop-My-Eyes-Out-of-My-Sockets Mode. Then cries.

Goes into I'm-Feeling-Sorry-for-Myself Mode. Then cries.

Goes into Lomotomized Zombie Mode. Then cries.

Goes into Bobbing Head Doll Mode. Then cries.

Repeats modes like a broken record. Then cries. A lot.

Joan of Arc was a female George Patton, someone who knew how to kick ass and take names. Falconetti's Joan is a blubbering wack job no one would follow into a pillow fight! Oddly, the only time Falconetti stops the blubbering wack job bit is when Joan is about to be burnt to a crisp.

The ending is a stupefying orgy of violence and bizarre camera angles. There is even a shot of a baby nursing, complete with full-frontal boobie! And the guy in the Mountie get-up lording over Joan's execution is a hoot! Where I can score some of that crack Carl Theodor Dreyer was smoking?
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