4/10
Apparently the filmmakers didn't think "The Guy With Panty Hose On His Head" was a scary enough title
4 September 2010
Warning: Spoilers
This derivative little mess has a few things going for it, but ultimately crumbles under the weight of its own flimsy logic and silliness.

Quick plot summary: A little boy murders his mother's abusive boyfriend, who somehow turns from a cruel jerk into a demonic evil spirit that returns years later to get revenge on the now-grown boy by killing random characters who have nothing to do with the murder. The malevolent force's path of vengeance is a bit hard to follow, especially since the focal point of the film is the boy's sister, who didn't actually participate in the killing. The murder is precipitated by the boy being tied to his bed as punishment for watching mother and boyfriend make out. It's important to note that before said make-out session, mother puts her pantyhose over boyfriend's head, which he continues to wear throughout the make-out session (safe sex was apparently practiced much differently in the early 80's). Sister cuts brother loose with a knife that he then uses to kill Panty Hose Head. The killing happens in front of mother's bedroom mirror, which captures Panty Hose Head's essence and blesses him with the ability to travel to any mirror he wants, possess people, and force them to stab themselves with scissors. His unexplained transformation also imbues him with telekinetic powers that allow him to execute strangers with clever death tools like a window sill and a car door. Did I mention that he goes on to possess sister and make her talk like Linda Blair? That's also very important to the story, so I'm sorry it took me a minute to share that. Some other stuff happens, and there's a little boy with a piece of broken mirror supernaturally bonded to the bottom of his shoe, and that phantom shard glows and pulsates and kills off a couple of ancillary characters by forcing them them to French kiss each other. Also, the now-grown brother tries to strangle some woman whose only purpose in the film is to be almost strangled for reasons unknown. There's a therapist in there somewhere too, but other than setting up a scene where sis does her Blair voice, I'm not sure why he's there either. Oh, and a chunk of glass from a shattered mirror vibrates and cuts the fingers of anyone who picks it up, but instead of letting go of the glass and not getting cut, the multiple people who pick up the glass choose to keep bleeding and shaking while they try to fit the piece back into the broken mirror. Oh, and a shard of this glass affixes itself to one of sister's eyes, which glows red or green depending on something that's never explained, and then she levitates and makes her husband bleed out of his eyes, but it turns out he's fine and the blood we see coming out of his eyes is actually just a couple of smears on his face in the next scene. And then a mirror gets thrown into a well and promptly explodes. This isn't a very quick plot summary, is it? Let's just stop there.

Nearly everything about the film is borrowed from far superior works. The arbitrary title seems like an attempt to cash in on the success of Halloween (this is made even more obvious when you see the familiar "child's hand gripping a butcher knife" camera shot at the beginning). The pointless insertion of a priest who comes to investigate the strange happenings is an obvious nod to The Exorcist, as is the afore-mentioned voice our lead heroine adopts throughout the film. Even the house most of the film takes place in is only a coat of white paint away from being a doppelganger for the infamous Amityville Horror estate.

The film builds slowly, but since the clunky execution of the plot isn't all that intriguing, the meager splatter thrown at us for a payoff isn't nearly enough to justify the journey there. You'll probably decide this whole affair is nonsense long before you get to the goriest scene in the film, wherein our previously discussed clergyman gets repeatedly stabbed in the back by kitchen cutlery... which causes fountains of blood to flow from his scalp (?!).

On the plus side, there are some nice atmospheric touches, so even though there isn't any real tension to speak of, the film LOOKS like it should have some. The cast seems to take the goofy material as seriously as they can, so the performances are all serviceable. Plus, the music is pretty nifty.

Aside from that, you probably don't need to spend 80 minutes trying to make sense of everything I've discussed here. If you do, the door is blatantly left open for a sequel, so you're probably committing yourself to an additional 80 minutes as well. Life is far too short, so let's just say I watched this movie so you don't have to and leave it that.

As for Boogey Man 2: The Return Of Panty Hose Head, you're on your own there.
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