There are bad movies and there are sad movies and there are bad, sad movies. Eye See You is a sad, bad movie. It doesn't make you sad by tugging on your heartstrings, but it's such a depressingly terrible piece of gunk that it leaves you staring at the screen and saying out loud "This is what I've been reduced to?".
The story starts out with Malloy (Sylvester Stallone), an FBI agent investigating a serial killer who's slain 9 police officers. He slays a 10th by sticking a drill through a peephole and into the cop's eye, then while Malloy is at the scene of that killing, the bad guy brutally murders Malloy's girlfriend Mary (Dina Meyer). But almost immediately after that, the cops think they've got the serial killer cornered in an abandoned factory of some sort. Malloy is allowed to go to the scene, which would never be allowed in real life, and he starts chasing the serial killer before finally finding the bad guy just after he hangs himself.
3 months later, Malloy is drinking himself to death, unable to get over Mary's death. After trying to speed up his suicide by slicing his wrist, a cop friend of Malloy sends him to a special rehab center that's just for cops. The center is an old military base in the middle of nowhere in snowbound Wyoming. Malloy meets the other patients, all law enforcement officers who are mentally and emotionally damaged in some way. Then those cops start dying, first by apparent suicide and then more violently. I probably don't need to tell you this but, yeah, it turns out the body Malloy found in the factory wasn't the serial killer and, yeah, somehow that guy decided to go this special rehab center at the exact same time as Malloy and, yeah, there's a whole unfocused bit where the cops can't figure out which one of them is the killer and a snow storm is keeping them trapped at the center and yadda yadda yadda, you can figure out the rest.
This is a bad film, but lots of films are bad. What makes this a sad, bad film, however, is that it's absolutely clear that not a single person involved in this movie had the slightest idea of what they were doing. Well the cameramen did keep everything in focus, so I supposed they knew what they were doing. That's about it, though.
To start with, the rehab center is amazingly ridiculous. It's a concrete prison, complete with cold, barren cells and most of it is underground. I'm sure it would have looked great as some kind of outer space prison or post-apocalyptic castle, but it is the least therapeutic-looking place imaginable. You can't believe for even a nanosecond that anyone would actually try and run a drug and alcohol rehab center out of this ominous hellhole.
This is also a terribly and lazily written film. It's the exact same "people trapped in an isolated place with a killer" movie that's been done umpteen times before, and it doesn't even make even the slightest attempt at adding anything new or original to the mix. Even the cops aren't really cops, they're just the identical group of characters you always find in this type of movie. But even worse than that, they can't even pull off this terminally clichéd plot. It's like they only hit the highlights of the story and rely on the fact that we've all seen this same crap before so many times that we'll just fill in the empty gaps that they leave.
It's also depressing to watch perfectly fine action/thriller actors like Robert Patrick, Kris Kristofferson and Charles S. Dutton go to waste. You know they could be so much better than they are in this dreck, but the story and the filmmakers obviously never asked them to do more than go through the motions. Stallone is especially pathetic as he's asked to go from happy-go-lucky to emotional wreck to avenging hero like he's punching a time clock. There's even a scene where he has to cry. Ugh.
And of course, the title of this movie is so stupefyingly awful that it has to be the result of one of the producers losing a bet and either having to take an 8 inch dildo up the rectum or name the movie Eye See You. That it's been renamed D-Tox only proves that somebody in the DVD business has a few functioning brain cells.
This sad, bad movie is just another milestone in the tragic career of Sylvester Stallone. Okay, tragic might be too strong for a guy who's made millions and millions of dollars. But when you consider that Stallone might have been, by a wide margin, the most talented movie star of his generation and he ended up making a dozen or two Eye See You's for every decent Rocky that's really sad.
The story starts out with Malloy (Sylvester Stallone), an FBI agent investigating a serial killer who's slain 9 police officers. He slays a 10th by sticking a drill through a peephole and into the cop's eye, then while Malloy is at the scene of that killing, the bad guy brutally murders Malloy's girlfriend Mary (Dina Meyer). But almost immediately after that, the cops think they've got the serial killer cornered in an abandoned factory of some sort. Malloy is allowed to go to the scene, which would never be allowed in real life, and he starts chasing the serial killer before finally finding the bad guy just after he hangs himself.
3 months later, Malloy is drinking himself to death, unable to get over Mary's death. After trying to speed up his suicide by slicing his wrist, a cop friend of Malloy sends him to a special rehab center that's just for cops. The center is an old military base in the middle of nowhere in snowbound Wyoming. Malloy meets the other patients, all law enforcement officers who are mentally and emotionally damaged in some way. Then those cops start dying, first by apparent suicide and then more violently. I probably don't need to tell you this but, yeah, it turns out the body Malloy found in the factory wasn't the serial killer and, yeah, somehow that guy decided to go this special rehab center at the exact same time as Malloy and, yeah, there's a whole unfocused bit where the cops can't figure out which one of them is the killer and a snow storm is keeping them trapped at the center and yadda yadda yadda, you can figure out the rest.
This is a bad film, but lots of films are bad. What makes this a sad, bad film, however, is that it's absolutely clear that not a single person involved in this movie had the slightest idea of what they were doing. Well the cameramen did keep everything in focus, so I supposed they knew what they were doing. That's about it, though.
To start with, the rehab center is amazingly ridiculous. It's a concrete prison, complete with cold, barren cells and most of it is underground. I'm sure it would have looked great as some kind of outer space prison or post-apocalyptic castle, but it is the least therapeutic-looking place imaginable. You can't believe for even a nanosecond that anyone would actually try and run a drug and alcohol rehab center out of this ominous hellhole.
This is also a terribly and lazily written film. It's the exact same "people trapped in an isolated place with a killer" movie that's been done umpteen times before, and it doesn't even make even the slightest attempt at adding anything new or original to the mix. Even the cops aren't really cops, they're just the identical group of characters you always find in this type of movie. But even worse than that, they can't even pull off this terminally clichéd plot. It's like they only hit the highlights of the story and rely on the fact that we've all seen this same crap before so many times that we'll just fill in the empty gaps that they leave.
It's also depressing to watch perfectly fine action/thriller actors like Robert Patrick, Kris Kristofferson and Charles S. Dutton go to waste. You know they could be so much better than they are in this dreck, but the story and the filmmakers obviously never asked them to do more than go through the motions. Stallone is especially pathetic as he's asked to go from happy-go-lucky to emotional wreck to avenging hero like he's punching a time clock. There's even a scene where he has to cry. Ugh.
And of course, the title of this movie is so stupefyingly awful that it has to be the result of one of the producers losing a bet and either having to take an 8 inch dildo up the rectum or name the movie Eye See You. That it's been renamed D-Tox only proves that somebody in the DVD business has a few functioning brain cells.
This sad, bad movie is just another milestone in the tragic career of Sylvester Stallone. Okay, tragic might be too strong for a guy who's made millions and millions of dollars. But when you consider that Stallone might have been, by a wide margin, the most talented movie star of his generation and he ended up making a dozen or two Eye See You's for every decent Rocky that's really sad.