Train (2008)
* 1/2 (out of 4)
Originally this thing went into production as a remake of TERROR TRAIN but somewhere along the lines it turns into yet another HOSTEL rip-off. A group of American wrestlers are in a foreign country when they get on a train, which of course turns out to be ran by a bunch of nuts. These nuts kidnap foreigners and kill them in order to supply their organ transplant company. This thing has earned the fake title of HOSTEL ON A TRAIN as we're served yet another "torture porn" flick that has very little imagination outside of ways to torture and mutilate someone. If you're into that type of thing then you might find something worthy here but if you like good film-making or brains then more than likely you'll be out of this one by the forty-minute mark. This movie tries hard to be as sick as possible as we get countless scenes of bloody violence but we also get a gang rape sequence and another one where a guy is raping a dead person. Oh yeah, we also get a scene with two of the creeps peeing on a guy to wake him up. There's no doubt that the screenplay is extremely weak because it offers up nothing new and there's one major plot hole after another. It gets so bad that you really have to wonder if there was a screenplay at all. We also have the bad screenplay trademark of characters poorly written and unlikeable. I'm not sure what's happened to the horror genre over the past ten years or so but does anyone else remember when we liked the characters we're watching? The cast is pretty much forgettable but it is somewhat shocking to see Thora Birch playing in a film like this. If you can buy her as a wrestler then I guess you'll enjoy her performance. Those wanting gore are going to find a lot of it here. The MPAA slapped an NC-17 rating on this thing before it's theatrical release fell through and it went straight to DVD. There's no question that's the right rating as we get some pretty graphic stuff. The opening sequence shows us a guy getting skinned before being ripped apart. There's all sorts of violence and gore that will appeal to gore hounds. The horror genre has been full of rips from the the 1930s and on so there shouldn't be anyone shocked that producers are lining up to rip something like HOSTEL. It seems each week we're getting some sort of rip and this one here went straight to DVD for a reason.
* 1/2 (out of 4)
Originally this thing went into production as a remake of TERROR TRAIN but somewhere along the lines it turns into yet another HOSTEL rip-off. A group of American wrestlers are in a foreign country when they get on a train, which of course turns out to be ran by a bunch of nuts. These nuts kidnap foreigners and kill them in order to supply their organ transplant company. This thing has earned the fake title of HOSTEL ON A TRAIN as we're served yet another "torture porn" flick that has very little imagination outside of ways to torture and mutilate someone. If you're into that type of thing then you might find something worthy here but if you like good film-making or brains then more than likely you'll be out of this one by the forty-minute mark. This movie tries hard to be as sick as possible as we get countless scenes of bloody violence but we also get a gang rape sequence and another one where a guy is raping a dead person. Oh yeah, we also get a scene with two of the creeps peeing on a guy to wake him up. There's no doubt that the screenplay is extremely weak because it offers up nothing new and there's one major plot hole after another. It gets so bad that you really have to wonder if there was a screenplay at all. We also have the bad screenplay trademark of characters poorly written and unlikeable. I'm not sure what's happened to the horror genre over the past ten years or so but does anyone else remember when we liked the characters we're watching? The cast is pretty much forgettable but it is somewhat shocking to see Thora Birch playing in a film like this. If you can buy her as a wrestler then I guess you'll enjoy her performance. Those wanting gore are going to find a lot of it here. The MPAA slapped an NC-17 rating on this thing before it's theatrical release fell through and it went straight to DVD. There's no question that's the right rating as we get some pretty graphic stuff. The opening sequence shows us a guy getting skinned before being ripped apart. There's all sorts of violence and gore that will appeal to gore hounds. The horror genre has been full of rips from the the 1930s and on so there shouldn't be anyone shocked that producers are lining up to rip something like HOSTEL. It seems each week we're getting some sort of rip and this one here went straight to DVD for a reason.