Review of Text

Text (2008)
1/10
Well there was a text involved...
21 March 2010
...and that is about it. If there was one more blurry edge or pan shot or zoom or superimposed shot in this movie I was going to kill myself. Plus, what was it about? I still don't know. If you can watch this movie and understand the plot, you are a better man than I. The one exciting moment was when I realized that it had the little girl from Forrest Gump. There were so many fade transitions that I wanted to fall asleep, not scream. Then there were five minutes of skateboarding for no reason whatsoever. Nonsense shots, nonsense shots, nonsense shots. Even the death scenes are boring, which is actually an accomplishment--because seriously, how hard is it to make gory deaths interesting? If I could, I would give this movie negative stars. I would give it black holes.
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