Review of Cyclops

Cyclops (2008 TV Movie)
3/10
"Shut up you one eyed bast*rd!" More Sci-Fi Channel 'Creature Feature' crap from Roger Corman.
17 February 2009
Warning: Spoilers
Cyclops is set in ancient Rome where three local men run into a giant bad tempered Cyclops who proceeds to kill & eat two of them, the third Roman guy escapes & reports back to the relevant authorities. Ruler of Rome Emperor Tiberius (Eric Roberts) commands his right hand man Falco (Craig Archibald) to order Roman soldier Marcus (Kevin Stapleton) to take his men & capture the Cyclops, what the boss wants the boss gets & Marcus does indeed capture the Cyclops & it is imprisoned for use in gladiatorial battle. Meanwhile a group of slaves try to escape & are caught, Marcus tries to free one of them & he is arrested for treason, all of them are ordered to fight in the Colosseum as gladiators for the entertainment of the Roman public who love this sort of stuff, apparently. The slaves, Marcus & the Cyclops decide not to fight each other but the brutal & corrupt regime of Tiberius as they seek their freedom...

Directed by Declan O'Brien this is yet another Sci-Fi Channel 'Creature Feature' that was shot in Bulgaria although set in ancient Rome & produced by B-Movie legend Roger Corman (in an amazing career spanning over half a century he has nearly 400 credits as producer & over 50 as director) & his wife Julie Corman, apart from one or two decent gore scenes & some unintentionally funny moment Cyclops has little if nothing going for it. First off despite being set in ancient Rome the makers were not interested in historic accuracy so don't expect a history lesson as the dialogue feels very modern rather than how you would expect the ancient Romans to speak, While the first half of Cyclops is quite fun in a fast paced but very daft & sometimes embarrassing sort of way it quickly descends into a Gladiator (2000) rip-off with some former Roman army dude being betrayed & becoming a gladiator. I can't believe I just compared Cyclops to the multi Oscar winning Gladiator! In terms of quality the two are literally worlds apart. Cyclops is at it's best during the first half when it's more of a 'Creature Feature' with the Cyclops running amok in ancient Roman killing lots of people in fairly gory ways, the only problem is it doesn't last & if that's really the only thing a film has going for it then there's something wrong. Most of the usual clichés, predictability, happy endings all round & poor scripting are present.

The one thing that did surprise me about Cyclops is how gory it was, there are ripped-off heads, heads cut off with axes, ripped-off limbs, blood splatter, the Cyclops takes revenge on an annoying kid & bites his hand clean off, it rips someones leg off, there are some ripped open stomachs, a guy is impaled on a spear, there's a slashed throat & more. The only problem are the CGI computer effects which render some of the gore scenes laughable & speaking of CGI computer effects lets talk about the title character himself. There is not one single special effect shot in Cyclops that I would even consider as convincing, the CGI Cyclops effects are truly awful, it changes size between shots & the animation is absolutely dreadful. Yout average Playsatation game looks better. The scenes when the Cyclops begins to talk are unintentionally funny due to a really bad voice, awful lip sync & a stupid look monster. To be honest I would have no hesitation in saying master stop-motion animator Ray Harryhausen's Cyclops from The 7th Voyage of Sinbad (1958) is more realistic, has more charm & personality & is infinitely more watchable on screen & that was made half a century ago. There are a few hand to hand gladiatorial fights but they look sloppy & stilted & have no real energy or dynamism about them.

The budget probably wasn't that high so one wonders why the production values are quite as good as they are & a little bit of research seems to suggest that Cyclops was shot on the same sets used for the lavish TV production of Spartacus (2004) so that explains that. Eric 'I'll star in anything for money' Roberts (the IMDb has him listed as being in ten films made in 2009 already & it's only the beginning of February!) is the name actor & looks bored frankly while I don't recognise anyone else from the cast.

Cyclops has some nice sets (left over from another production) & has some surprisingly gory moments but overall the awful CGI computer effects renders every scene with the Cyclops laughable which is not what the makers intended. It's nice to see Roger Corman still cranking them out though even if this is as rubbish as most of his other output.
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