Cold and Dark (2005)
5/10
Cold & Dark
22 August 2008
Warning: Spoilers
"Never trust anything that bleeds for a week and still doesn't die."

Vice Sergeant detective John Dark(Luke Goss, who seems more worried about how cool he looks on screen)realizes that his new, well dressed partner, "Governor" Morty DC Shade(Kevin Howarth, who grows more and more creepy and menacing as the film continues)was actually killed in a raid on slave runners gone awry, revived by the blood of a foreign girl which gives birth to a creature(..labeled a "grail" by a kooky member of internal affairs, Dr. Elgin portrayed by bald-headed Matt Lucas)inside him. The grail yearns for blood, slowly transforming the host, creating a monster which replaces Shade overtime. Shade begins attacking those behind the slave-running operation which moves underage girls from country to country illegally for prostitution purposes, and Dark stands pat because playing by the rules hasn't brought the "bad guys" to justice. But, when Shade attacks a decoy placed in harm's way by the mastermind behind the entire slave-running operation, Dark convinces himself that the monster must be destroyed before things really get out of control. Albany(Carly Turnbull), a secret agent keeping a member of the slave-running organization safe because of his testimonies against his comrades in exchange for favors, butts heads with Dark when those associated with her client are turning up dead, horribly disfigured by some sort of beast with a nasty overbite. Soon Dark and Shade will have to duke it out or else the monster poses danger to the human race at large, not just those undesirables which break laws and pose a threat to society.

Director Andrew Goth presents a flashy neo-noir Gothic horror flick which also works as a variation on the vampire theme and cop drama. The British-speak is on display and the tough-talking detectives ooze machismo. The villains of the film are rather undeveloped, only serving the plot as delicacies for Shade's vampiric monster, which emerges from a hole in his hand(..also, before the monster appears, long nails burst forth from Shade's fingers). Goth's style is ambitious and flamboyant as he uses all types of camera set-ups and movements, attempting visually, it seems, to make up for the paper-thin plot. Without the creature, this is just another Death Wish variant with Shade replacing Bronson's vengeance seeking vigilante, out for his own brand of justice. The heavies in the film are colorful, but they appear, are killed, and disappear..card board characters placed in the film as vermin for extermination. One member of the slave-ring, a woman needing money for her young son, Tommy(Rhys Moosa),who forges passports, is developed a bit because we do need some sort of sympathetic character in this film, other than agent Albany(..who often seems but a mere robot doing her duty to prevent harm towards her voice into a major operation she wishes to demolish)for when you have a story seething with such corrupted sorts and coppers stooping to their level to "clean the streets", it's nice to find someone to care about if even slightly. The attacks are often committed in a way to not show the creature eating inside it's victims perhaps due to budget constraints(..instead we are privy to the pleasured expression on Shade's face as he "feeds"). The creature is also rather shown quickly, never fully visible too long on screen, perhaps because it's created through CGI, which would expose how unrealistic it is. A lot is left to our imagination, that's for sure. Shade looks more and more like a vampire as the film moves along, his eyes absent of humanity, as he carries a ferocious visage. He really looks like a human monster by the film's climax. The film doesn't go out of it's way to explain how this creature came to be and the entire warehouse sequence where people died, including Shade(..the director follows Dark as he attempts to find his partner and the two slave-runners who were party to this particular exchange), occurs away from our eyes. Merely a hanging female corpse whose blood drops gave new life to Shade, combusting into flame, is our reason for the creature's existence.
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