We eagerly awaited the premiere of Bonekickers in the UK. At last, a prime-time programme that had it all - our nation's love of our own history, a bit of Time Team thrown in, adventure, established actors, you name it, it promised it. The trailers offered excitement, passion and a bloke with a sword.
Then we watched it.
As a nation, we stared, dumbfounded, at the screen. Was this for real? Apparently, the True Cross is under a dovecote somewhere in Wiltshire, along with a load of other crosses. An evil baddie wants to get his hands on it as a rallying point for all fundamental Christians, thus waging his own personal crusade against "Unbelievers". Mate, I got news for you. Nobody, and I mean nobody, would believe just how bad this tosh really was unless they had seen it with their own eyes.
Dreadful dialogue (Example: "This is rewriting the book stuff!"), even worse acting, some nurse with a splinter in her finger, the most suspect archaeology I have ever seen (If Tony Robinson was dead, he'd be spinning in his grave right about now) - seriously, the list of what is wrong with this show is too great to list here.
If there was the facility on the ratings system here, I'd probably push for a minus number. It really doesn't deserve the one I gave it.
Avoid.
Avoid like the proverbial plague...
EDIT: OK, three weeks in and, god damn it, I'm sorry, but I have to retract at least some of the above. Truthfully? It's HILARIOUS! This is quite possibly one of the funniest things on television to date. It's managed to go through bad and out the other side into side-splitting hilarity with aplomb. The pyromania (perhaps a certified Archaeologist out there can confirm for me if it's standard practice to BURN EVERY SITE YOU DIG to the ground...), the wonderful, bottom-lip-quivering speeches, the random use of cellos for background music, Professor Magrat's compulsion to burst into tears at every given opportunity, thus showing her vulnerable side, seriously, folks, this is marvellous stuff!
Just, for the love of Jehovah, don't take it seriously, will you?
Kes
Then we watched it.
As a nation, we stared, dumbfounded, at the screen. Was this for real? Apparently, the True Cross is under a dovecote somewhere in Wiltshire, along with a load of other crosses. An evil baddie wants to get his hands on it as a rallying point for all fundamental Christians, thus waging his own personal crusade against "Unbelievers". Mate, I got news for you. Nobody, and I mean nobody, would believe just how bad this tosh really was unless they had seen it with their own eyes.
Dreadful dialogue (Example: "This is rewriting the book stuff!"), even worse acting, some nurse with a splinter in her finger, the most suspect archaeology I have ever seen (If Tony Robinson was dead, he'd be spinning in his grave right about now) - seriously, the list of what is wrong with this show is too great to list here.
If there was the facility on the ratings system here, I'd probably push for a minus number. It really doesn't deserve the one I gave it.
Avoid.
Avoid like the proverbial plague...
EDIT: OK, three weeks in and, god damn it, I'm sorry, but I have to retract at least some of the above. Truthfully? It's HILARIOUS! This is quite possibly one of the funniest things on television to date. It's managed to go through bad and out the other side into side-splitting hilarity with aplomb. The pyromania (perhaps a certified Archaeologist out there can confirm for me if it's standard practice to BURN EVERY SITE YOU DIG to the ground...), the wonderful, bottom-lip-quivering speeches, the random use of cellos for background music, Professor Magrat's compulsion to burst into tears at every given opportunity, thus showing her vulnerable side, seriously, folks, this is marvellous stuff!
Just, for the love of Jehovah, don't take it seriously, will you?
Kes