ianlouisiana Review of Cheaper by the Dozen

Cheaper by the Dozen (2003)

Toe - curlingly cutesy - wutesy slice of American pie.

[3/10 · 3 November 2007]

"Cheaper by the dozen" will make you yearn for the straightforward sublime idiocy of "The Jerk" or perhaps,if you prefer Steve Martin as Woody Allen to Steve Martin as Jerry Lewis,the schadenfreunde of "Parenthood". It is overwhelmingly "American" with a capital A in both its conception and its execution.All the men have been emasculated,from Mr Martin himself to his youngest sons,the women manipulate them at will,belittle them at every opportunity and are unbearably smug control freaks. Mr Martin appears to be unable to choose a pair of socks without consulting his wife/dominatrice and goes through the whole movie behaving like an elderly Labrador surrounded by a brood of boisterous puppies.The puppies/children are unfailingly obnoxious in that irritating All American way that presumably some American child must possess unless it is entirely an invention of Hollywood. As an elderly Englishman I find it hard to believe that presumably fairly intelligent middle - class American parents would concede control of their family to their older offspring - and that is suspending my initial disbelief that any such prosperous a couple would have twelve children in the first place.With the original movie set in 1920 such a scenario was just about believable - but in the 21st century in a world already grossly overcrowded? Which brings us to the question of why was this movie ever made?Does Mr Martin need the money?I don't think so.Does the world need yet another cruddy remake of a film that although amusing enough was hardly a great classic?Are screenwriters so devoid of original ideas that they are forced to plunder their own archives? Mr Martin is now about as wild and crazy as Droopy and nowhere near as funny.I think he should consider changing his agent.