I've come up with a drinking game to play while you watch Starship. Here's what you do. Get a bottle of your favorite liquor and a shot glass for everyone who wants to play along. Fill up each shot glass to start off, and then slap Starship in the VCR. The rules are that everyone takes a shot whenever something interesting happens. Suitable for teetotalers. Unused liquor can be deposited back in the bottle utilizing a funnel.
This is the absolute worst kind of movie: a boring one. I watch lots of terrible movies. In the right frame of mind, an onslaught of cheese and surprise 80s dance numbers and mullets can provide a fun evening like nothing else. Battlefield Earth, for instance (and by the same director), is wonderful because it aims for real emotional impact over and over again and achieves not an ounce of it. Starship, on the other hand, might just be aiming to put me to bed early.
Action matters when we care about its outcome. Nothing we give the least little tiny crap about is ever really in jeopardy in Starship, and the one time something terrible happens to a main character it's filmed so poorly we're left for a minute wondering precisely what happened.
This movie's a mess. But not, let me stress, a hilarious mess. It's not an interesting mess. It's not something to get drunk and make fun of. It's not a crappy, crappy, crappy movie; the situation is altogether more dire than that. It's boring.
This is the absolute worst kind of movie: a boring one. I watch lots of terrible movies. In the right frame of mind, an onslaught of cheese and surprise 80s dance numbers and mullets can provide a fun evening like nothing else. Battlefield Earth, for instance (and by the same director), is wonderful because it aims for real emotional impact over and over again and achieves not an ounce of it. Starship, on the other hand, might just be aiming to put me to bed early.
Action matters when we care about its outcome. Nothing we give the least little tiny crap about is ever really in jeopardy in Starship, and the one time something terrible happens to a main character it's filmed so poorly we're left for a minute wondering precisely what happened.
This movie's a mess. But not, let me stress, a hilarious mess. It's not an interesting mess. It's not something to get drunk and make fun of. It's not a crappy, crappy, crappy movie; the situation is altogether more dire than that. It's boring.