It's possible for a horror film to have a dreadful story, awful effects, risible acting, or an incomprehensible plot, and yet somehow still manage to entertain. What is unforgivable, however, is if a scary movie is boring; The Return will have you comatose within an hour, drool running off your chin! The film tried so hard to be mysterious and creepy in the first 60 minutes (but still failed), that by the time it attempted to explain what the hell was going on, I just didn't give a damn. Sarah Michelle Gellar plays a young business woman who suffers from nightmarish visions. Unwisely following clues revealed to her in these 'dreams', she discovers the truth behind a murder that occurred 15 years before. After much tedium and unfathomable 'plot development', a lame Shyalaman-style denouement eventually puts viewers out of their misery. With absolutely no atmosphere, Gellar portraying a character with less depth than Daphne in Scooby Doo, and only a couple of cheap mechanical scares eliciting any kind of reaction from this viewer, The Return is a dull, pointless pile of cack that should be avoided at all costs. In fact, anyone who manages to watch the whole mess without falling asleep should be awarded some kind of medal to mark their achievement.
Review of The Return
