In the late 1990's as the wonder of the new millennium was closing in fast, countless film fans across the rapidly expanded intranet super highway were pondering just one question on message boards around the globe... Whatever happened to Pete "Maverick" Mitchell after his heroics in Top Gun?
It was a question that only one man could answer. Hugely influential art-house director David Worth. He was the natural choice. An auteur of biblical vision to whom such square Hollywood concepts as narrative, coherent dialogue and editing were little more than antiquated film making tools used by wannabe hack has-beens such as Spielberg and Scorsese. Worth intended to lead cinema into the 21st century with the movie equivalent of the nuking of Nagasaki.
And boy did he succeed!
Picking up five years after the end of Top Gun, Pete Mitchell is now working as a life guard in Mexico after being dishonourably discharged for flagrant homo-eroticism and tupping Kelly McGillis. The shame has forced him to change his name to "Ben Carpenter" but the old Maverick spirit has not been diminished. He may have a stretch of beach to protect but bucking the man has never been an issue with this man. In any sense of the phrase. Just ask his new "bitch". In the first five minutes Mitchell/Carpenter has gone hunting lobster in flagrant contravention of code 37A of the lifeguards rules of engagement.
Yet this is just setting the scene of what is to come. He may have seen a MiG28 do a 4g negative dive but nothing could have prepared him for the Megalodon.... A giant prehistoric shark with very big but easily detachable teeth, the ability to thrash on the surface at the depth of 1,500ft and that sounds like my Gran slurping soup when it is munching on stoned Mexican party revellers. A terrifying eating machine from the depths of the ocean. A MiGalodon if you will. Now it's cruising his beach like a Navy Flyer cruises Soho and he's got to stop it... fast.
Yet this isn't a job he can do alone. He needs to see the light first. Enter Cataline Stone, natural historian in the Lara Croft mode. He likes her a lot. She gives him a smile. He gives her his extremely rare shark tooth for free. What's more, she brings along a couple of cronies; Friedman and Davis. Friedman is an "assman". Mitchell likes him too. If you say it quick enough it sounds like "Iceman". Obviously. With an excess of brain, he desperately needs brawn to take this "motherfucker" down. There's only one man to turn to. Chuck Rampart. Another ex-navy man with his own yellow submarine and a torpedo stashed away for a rainy day. Chuck knows Maverick from his navy days. "He's got good instincts" he tells his friend. Maverick just wants to be his wingman sometime! "Bull-fucking-shit" Rampart bellows later on. It's a match made in retro 1980's heaven.
Which leads me perfectly on to the true genius of this film. For where as Top Gun was simply a high-octane, high-concept thrill ride, Shark Attack 3: Megalodon is that and so much more... Operating on a far more profound, deeply theological level. For, when stripped down, what David Worth is really offering here is a fully realised metaphor about the battle between Heaven and Hell. An eternal biblical tale translated into a roistering, perfectly crafted hit of 21st century carnage.
Maverick is now a Christ figure. A man-God descended from the clouds to once again do battle with the relentless beast from the depths in a battle for the souls he watches over. The devil himself being drawn from the trenches of darkness by the greed and the avarice of these very men. Men who reject this ancient beings very existence in this cynical religion mocking modern age. When Maverick offers to takes Cataline home to eat her pussy, he's actually purging her of her earthly sins and filling her with the love of God in order to prepare her for the day of judgement. It's a beautiful metaphor played out in Heavenly soft focus. Their faith is fully realised in the lighting of candles. Even Mavericks choice of pseudonym, "Carpenter", points audiences towards this daring, provocative and timeless subtext.
And who better to play the Son of God/Pete "Maverick" Mitchell than John "Any Dream Will Do" Barrowman? An actor of extraordinary depth and shiny white teeth. It's a compelling performance played with charisma and sincerity that not only captures the mannerisms of Tom Cruise's original performance (check out his reaction to the Goose-like death of new buddy Esai 'Sy') but also channels the holy spirit of our saviour Jesus Christ throughout.
This perfectly realised performance coupled with the inspired invention and genius of David Worth makes Shark Attack 3: Megalodon the first true cinematic masterpiece since Coleman Francis gifted us The Beast Of Yukka Flats way back in 1961.
It was a question that only one man could answer. Hugely influential art-house director David Worth. He was the natural choice. An auteur of biblical vision to whom such square Hollywood concepts as narrative, coherent dialogue and editing were little more than antiquated film making tools used by wannabe hack has-beens such as Spielberg and Scorsese. Worth intended to lead cinema into the 21st century with the movie equivalent of the nuking of Nagasaki.
And boy did he succeed!
Picking up five years after the end of Top Gun, Pete Mitchell is now working as a life guard in Mexico after being dishonourably discharged for flagrant homo-eroticism and tupping Kelly McGillis. The shame has forced him to change his name to "Ben Carpenter" but the old Maverick spirit has not been diminished. He may have a stretch of beach to protect but bucking the man has never been an issue with this man. In any sense of the phrase. Just ask his new "bitch". In the first five minutes Mitchell/Carpenter has gone hunting lobster in flagrant contravention of code 37A of the lifeguards rules of engagement.
Yet this is just setting the scene of what is to come. He may have seen a MiG28 do a 4g negative dive but nothing could have prepared him for the Megalodon.... A giant prehistoric shark with very big but easily detachable teeth, the ability to thrash on the surface at the depth of 1,500ft and that sounds like my Gran slurping soup when it is munching on stoned Mexican party revellers. A terrifying eating machine from the depths of the ocean. A MiGalodon if you will. Now it's cruising his beach like a Navy Flyer cruises Soho and he's got to stop it... fast.
Yet this isn't a job he can do alone. He needs to see the light first. Enter Cataline Stone, natural historian in the Lara Croft mode. He likes her a lot. She gives him a smile. He gives her his extremely rare shark tooth for free. What's more, she brings along a couple of cronies; Friedman and Davis. Friedman is an "assman". Mitchell likes him too. If you say it quick enough it sounds like "Iceman". Obviously. With an excess of brain, he desperately needs brawn to take this "motherfucker" down. There's only one man to turn to. Chuck Rampart. Another ex-navy man with his own yellow submarine and a torpedo stashed away for a rainy day. Chuck knows Maverick from his navy days. "He's got good instincts" he tells his friend. Maverick just wants to be his wingman sometime! "Bull-fucking-shit" Rampart bellows later on. It's a match made in retro 1980's heaven.
Which leads me perfectly on to the true genius of this film. For where as Top Gun was simply a high-octane, high-concept thrill ride, Shark Attack 3: Megalodon is that and so much more... Operating on a far more profound, deeply theological level. For, when stripped down, what David Worth is really offering here is a fully realised metaphor about the battle between Heaven and Hell. An eternal biblical tale translated into a roistering, perfectly crafted hit of 21st century carnage.
Maverick is now a Christ figure. A man-God descended from the clouds to once again do battle with the relentless beast from the depths in a battle for the souls he watches over. The devil himself being drawn from the trenches of darkness by the greed and the avarice of these very men. Men who reject this ancient beings very existence in this cynical religion mocking modern age. When Maverick offers to takes Cataline home to eat her pussy, he's actually purging her of her earthly sins and filling her with the love of God in order to prepare her for the day of judgement. It's a beautiful metaphor played out in Heavenly soft focus. Their faith is fully realised in the lighting of candles. Even Mavericks choice of pseudonym, "Carpenter", points audiences towards this daring, provocative and timeless subtext.
And who better to play the Son of God/Pete "Maverick" Mitchell than John "Any Dream Will Do" Barrowman? An actor of extraordinary depth and shiny white teeth. It's a compelling performance played with charisma and sincerity that not only captures the mannerisms of Tom Cruise's original performance (check out his reaction to the Goose-like death of new buddy Esai 'Sy') but also channels the holy spirit of our saviour Jesus Christ throughout.
This perfectly realised performance coupled with the inspired invention and genius of David Worth makes Shark Attack 3: Megalodon the first true cinematic masterpiece since Coleman Francis gifted us The Beast Of Yukka Flats way back in 1961.