1/10
The worst war movie of all time
7 February 2007
Warning: Spoilers
I don't know where to begin my defilement of this work, because it's really rotten to the core. One word best sums it up, and that is CONTRIVED. Every single scene is fabricated to be sentimental propaganda in step with current trends and political correctness. Even Spielberg couldn't reach these heights of not-so-subliminal American gung-ho, all supported by a vulgar soundtrack that tells you exactly what to feel and when to feel it.

Also, I hear this movie is based on a book. I can't for my life believe that the book is as boastful and self-indulgent as this nonsense. Mel Gibson's character is nothing short of Jesus himself - he's a wonderful father and husband, and a god-fearing Christian who only fights to keep his Family safe from the Twin Evils of Communism (which indeed is a pestilence, but that's beyond the obvious) and Heathendom. On the battlefield, he'll know no fear, will always be the first in line for a bullet, and will gladly sacrifice himself for his imperial comrades. And on and on. Every other soldier is also a family man and Protector of Democracy, Baseball, and Jockstraps. Well, all except Sam Elliott's character, who is supposed to be a Tom Highway/Sergeant Hartman clone, only humourless.

Let's just list some of the most deplorable scenes:

Gibson praying in church with a fellow officer, telling him that God is on their side. Gibson praying with his children, and cuddling with his wife. Gibson explaining to his daughter what a war is, and how they are the good guys (In God We Trust). Gibson's speech about brotherhood in his unit, and how he will sacrifice himself (this scene is really too laughable for words, it has to be seen to be believed). Gibson, after the war, saying that his only regret is that some of the men under his command died, and he did not.

The soldiers' wives are generously portrayed. They are in the movie for the sole purpose of receiving notes whenever their husbands have died. Again, to show that they have sacrificed themselves for their families. A tear spent is a dollar earned.

The scene when Gibson returns from the war, and his wife only sees a cab stopping outside, fearing it is a death note for her. Pathetically predictable and melodramatic.

And then we have the "laundromat" scene, which has probably the most forced PC dialogue I've ever seen. Are we supposed to believe that an American woman in the '60s (and I believe in the South?) had not heard the term "Whites only" before?

As for the war scenes, have you ever noticed how German and Vietnamese soldiers always die instantly, but American soldiers always live on for 30 another seconds? Just enough for a violin piece, his comrades holding his hands as the lights in his eyes flicker and go out, and of course, a glorious parting line.

And the death scenes here are truly fabricated beyond ridicule. Everyone accepts death with a smile, and no fear whatsoever. One dying soldier says "I feel privileged to die for my country", TWO say "Tell my wife I love her", one is dramatically shot dead just as he heroically lifts his wounded comrade onto a helicopter, and yet another has his newborn's name flaunting about - just so we are reminded that he's one of the good guys, and that we should be extra sad when he dies, because he "died to protect them" (another unwritten rule of Hollywood war movies is that whenever someone shows a picture, letter, or something to that effect, of a loved one - he will die).

And propaganda aside, even strictly as a war movie, it falls flat. The movie knows full well that it is dishonest and preys on sentimentality, that is has no plot to speak of, that is has only the most rudimentary strategical and tactical elaborations, and that it is completely devoid of characterization (let alone character development!). So it goes for the graphic and macabre instead - faces burning with napalm, etc. This is what can be expected, because the movie was obviously made for the very easily impressed, the drooling mass that WANTS to be told what to feel and think, because it's easier than doing it themselves.

Pathetic.
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