Review of Hell House

Hell House (2001)
2/10
Religion Gone Bloody Bad
28 January 2007
Warning: Spoilers
Wanna get the crap scared out of you? And I don't mean that in any respectfully horror-ish way when referring to HELL HOUSE. I mean it in a way that'll cause you to doubt human sanity.

Technique-wise, I have to give the creators of this idea a definite thumbs up. Utilizing graphic imagery to frighten people toward God, the Assembly of God Church has accomplished something quite unique every October 31st. Threatening sinners with eternal damnation if they have premarital sex, are gay, or attend a rave party, this church puts on a haunted house filled with gore and violence each Halloween. The actors and actresses are pulled from their congregation annually. Some are young women who dip their crotches in fake blood and scream in mock pain while perched on a makeshift hospital gurney (their dialogue during this horrific scene is centered around "the morning after pill" and how dangerous it is ...which is completely untrue of course, but we're talking self-induced abortion so this little fib is obviously okay.) Other scenes include a homosexual man dying of AIDS. A ghoulishly evil creature hovers around him and comments on his "evil lifestyle choice" as he groans his last breath and is ushered into everlasting pain and devilish servitude (never mind that the man may have been a pediatrician who cured a type of cancer that saved thousands of lives. Homo? You're going' to Hell!) At the end of peoples' tour through these strange Halloween acts, prayer groups are offered up for those who wish to be saved. Never mind that the pressure put on the guests by the aforementioned scenes and the "limited time" they have to act on this compulsion are stressed to the maximum ("You have six seconds to walk through that door and be saved by Jesus. One...") Probably the biggest downer here is that this is a growing phenomenon. Forget that God is merciful or full of love or wants you to be happy. That's not what this is about. This is all about fear and the tactics used to instill it by a group of individuals who claim to be "religious." Excuse me but isn't religion supposed to be about acceptance, caring, and the loving nature of Jesus/God? Maybe I'm missing something.

The other issue is that these Assembly of God members obviously have no idea what Halloween is about nor its history (Note: All Hallows Day – also known as "All Saints' Day". The holiday was a day of religious festivities in various northern European Pagan traditions, until Popes Gregory III and Gregory IV moved the old Christian feast of All Saints' Day from May 13 to November 1. In the ninth century, the Church measured the day as starting at sunset, in accordance with the Florentine calendar. Although we now consider All Saints' – or Hallows' – day to be on the day after Halloween, they were, at that time, considered to be the same day.) The church also shows how suicide is a sin. But God (nor the bible) ever said this (Note: "In the early Christian era suicide was not only tolerated, but condoned by the church, as a result certain sects such as the Donatists and the Circumcellions jumped off cliffs in great numbers to hasten an afterlife that promised greater rewards than those found on jolly old Earth. Faced with the loss of so many of its members, and rapidly shrinking collection plates, in the sixth century the church decided that anyone else who committed suicide was going to hell." Bet you won't be hearing that "biblical history" during a sermon any time soon.) There's a brief shining moment when a group of young men and women confront the designers of Hell House and tell them how wrong all of this is (thus my two star rating). But it falls on deaf ears and is quickly swept under the rug in the documentary.
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