Hey, I've seen this film before it's called "The Breakfast Club." No, wait, that film was actually clever and funny. This rehash of every kid-left-alone movie has incredibly cute children, but very little laughs - and even with a schmaltzy ending - very little heart.
Five kids from different parts of the country, normal kid Spencer (Dyllan Christopher), weakling Charlie (Tyler James'Williams), fat boy Timothy (Brett Kelly), spoiled princess Grace (Gina Mantenga) and tomboy Grace (Quinn Shephard), find themselves together at a Chicago airport.
Put together in a dungeon-like basement for kids traveling without parents, they soon escape and make an effort to find Spencer's little sister, Katherine (Dominique Saldana).
This takes place as grumpy security manager (comedian Lewis Black) and his three idiot guards (former Kids in the Hall players Kevin McDonald, Bruce McCulloch and Mark McKinney) pursue the indifferent and resourceful moppets.
At least Black, whose acerbic tirades on "The Daily Show" can be hilarious; and his well-received books and stand-up specials draw much attention, is funnier here than he was in "Man of the Year." All the while, we are treated to unfunny sequences featuring Spencer and Katherine's moronic, tree-hugging dad, whose vegetable oil-burning vehicle explodes while he is driving to pick them up. Luckily, a chainsaw-toting redneck cretin provides the guy with a new Hummer for the rest of the trip.
Still, this devolves into another "the kids are really smart while the adults are idiots who end up completely defeated and befuddled in the end" kind of movies. That was all right in "Home Alone" but it doesn't really work when you care nothing about any of these young characters.
A sappy conclusion, featuring a reformed Black and the arrival of a deadbeat father, along with everyone getting a new girl/boyfriend (except the fat kid, because we know fat people in Hollywood films do not deserve any sort of happiness), adds to the overall stupidity.
Saw several critics on the Internet Movie Data Base that actually gave 10 stars to this picture. Maybe "Unaccompanied Minors" is just as good as "From Here To Eternity," "On the Waterfront," "The Godfather," "The Grapes of Wrath," "Lawrence of Arabia," "West Side Story" and "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" to these people, but I'm afraid I'll just have to drop the bar a star or two.
Five kids from different parts of the country, normal kid Spencer (Dyllan Christopher), weakling Charlie (Tyler James'Williams), fat boy Timothy (Brett Kelly), spoiled princess Grace (Gina Mantenga) and tomboy Grace (Quinn Shephard), find themselves together at a Chicago airport.
Put together in a dungeon-like basement for kids traveling without parents, they soon escape and make an effort to find Spencer's little sister, Katherine (Dominique Saldana).
This takes place as grumpy security manager (comedian Lewis Black) and his three idiot guards (former Kids in the Hall players Kevin McDonald, Bruce McCulloch and Mark McKinney) pursue the indifferent and resourceful moppets.
At least Black, whose acerbic tirades on "The Daily Show" can be hilarious; and his well-received books and stand-up specials draw much attention, is funnier here than he was in "Man of the Year." All the while, we are treated to unfunny sequences featuring Spencer and Katherine's moronic, tree-hugging dad, whose vegetable oil-burning vehicle explodes while he is driving to pick them up. Luckily, a chainsaw-toting redneck cretin provides the guy with a new Hummer for the rest of the trip.
Still, this devolves into another "the kids are really smart while the adults are idiots who end up completely defeated and befuddled in the end" kind of movies. That was all right in "Home Alone" but it doesn't really work when you care nothing about any of these young characters.
A sappy conclusion, featuring a reformed Black and the arrival of a deadbeat father, along with everyone getting a new girl/boyfriend (except the fat kid, because we know fat people in Hollywood films do not deserve any sort of happiness), adds to the overall stupidity.
Saw several critics on the Internet Movie Data Base that actually gave 10 stars to this picture. Maybe "Unaccompanied Minors" is just as good as "From Here To Eternity," "On the Waterfront," "The Godfather," "The Grapes of Wrath," "Lawrence of Arabia," "West Side Story" and "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" to these people, but I'm afraid I'll just have to drop the bar a star or two.