5/10
get the lads round, get in the beers
3 December 2006
You have to judge 'Goal' on its own terms. The film sets out to be a franchise, has been slickly marketed as a rags-to-riches story, carries the official (and difficult to receive) FIFA seal of approval, and celebrates its comic book debts. This isn't Roy of the Rovers, it is Billy's Boots; a poor boy catapulted into the world of big business soccer (and it is soccer, not football - this one is aimed at the American market), intoxicated but not overwhelmed by what he finds there.

Of course it is stereotypical and formulaic, but it isn't trying to be anything else. We can all throw rotten tomatoes at Beckham's wooden cameo, but at the preview screening I attended in Toyko, a whisper of awe went round the sold-out theatre as soon as he appeared - and that is exactly what the filmmakers are aiming for. It's a fun date movie for Japanese couples who will unashamedly cheer Santiago's quest for glory, an audience who know nothing of homophobic, sectarian or racist chants aimed at opposition players. The Brit fans, especially Newcastle fans, will wait for the DVD, get the lads in, throw a few cold ones down their throats and take the pish mightily, all the while learning all the clichéd lines so they can do it again next Friday night. This film will find its audience, sorry audiences, and make money.

'Goal' takes on the difficult challenge of bringing football action to celluloid and does the best job yet, though fails to convince entirely. There is just something about football that makes it difficult to fake. The story line pushes all the right buttons, father-son estrangement then reconciliation (after a fashion), rocky romance, professional rivalry, friendships turned sour, mentors outgrown... There are no surprises, all the boxes in the sports movie genre are ticked off, but earnestly done and satisfying enough if you are into that kind of thing. If you clapped for Tinkerbell and booed at pantomime then this movie is for you. If you think 'Cool Hand Luke' was a Jesus allegory, stay away.
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