On the Town (1949)
1/10
Textbook case: how to f*** up a film
22 October 2006
I HATE this movie. It has everything going for it, except (1) taste, (2) music, (3 )intelligence.

Leonard Bernstein, Betty Comden, and Adolph Green wrote a great musical called "On The Town." It's about three sailors with a 24-hour leave in New York City in the middle of WWII. It's still a great musical, a musical with a great book of the quality of that of "Oklahoma!" that tracks the adventures, romantic as well as touristic, of three guys who cross the bridge from Brooklyn to Manhattan and want to drink in the whole city at once.

MGM takes an estimable amount of talent: Gene Kelly, Frank Sinatra, Jules Munshin, Vera- Ellen (the prosecution exhibit for "Tap Thighs," but lovely nonetheless), Betty Garrett (the least well-used comedienne of the era) and Ann Miller (exploited but never really employed), and turns what could have been a landmark film into a dismal excursion that would leave the average guy wondering why anybody would want to live in NYNY.

This is one of the supreme examples of why I hate MGM, the outhouse of the movie musical.

They dump the wonderful "Carried Away" number in favor of the inane "Prehistoric Man" number for Ann Miller to dance to. Gee, thanks, Roger Edens! They eliminate Hildy's great "I Can Cook, Too!" not to mention "Ya Got Me," "I Wish I Was Dead," "Imaginary Coney Island," "The Real Coney Island," and the incredibly lovely "Some Other Time" with more Roger Edens crap.

The stars that MGM hired to do this movie were capable of making a masterpiece, but MGM, in its infinite wisdom, knew how to turn it into a colossal dump, and they did. Part of the problem was the pretentious image it decided to project for Gene Kelly (speaking of crap, what about "American in Paris*?") This is part of my prelude to "Why MGM Musicals Suck" essay; You can see my top 10 movie musicals (there are really 12 so far) in my review for "You Were Never Lovelier."

Stanley Donen went on to make some wonderful movies ("Charade" and "Bedazzled," which features Raquel Welch as one of the seven deadly sins, guess which? among them. But MGM, especially when "adapting" Broadway musicals, showed an uncanny propensity for turning great theatre into execrable cinema, piling Pelions of goo on Ossas of substance, and doing no one any good in the process. MGM certainly didn't bring out Donen's best.

*In its Ferde Grofe orchestration, the most perverted of George Gershwin's great works--but that's for another discussion!
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