Review of Zoom

Zoom (2006)
1/10
What could possibly be the motivation for making a film like this?
13 August 2006
It is conceivable that a movie about four misfit young people turned superheros could have been made into an enjoyable family film, but someone made a serious wrong turn early in the film-making process here. To make matters worse, rather than abandoning this sinking ship early on, or starting over at square one, the filmmakers appear to have blindly moved forward producing what can only be described as a disaster that will quickly find a home among the most poorly rated movies at IMDb and leave theaters quickly.

The biggest question I have is why? Why was this movie made? Why was no one minding the store? Why was this screenplay ever permitted to see the light of day? I took my five year-old to the movie because the previews looked okay and we love movies. The fact that it took less than five minutes for him to get fidgety after the movie started was probably a good clue to what was ahead. He never did calm down and I'm not sure he paid attention to more than ten minutes of the whole movie.

The script and sets are both beyond ridiculous and rarely make any sense at any time during the movie. Some of the acting is really over the top absurd, Rip Torn and Chevy Chase come to mind. With the exception of Courntey Cox, this film seems like it exists purely to provide a vehicle for over the hill actors to bring in a little up front income. However, since this movie will not turn a profit, it is the studio that will pay price in the end and I suppose they deserve it.

There are a few moments in the first 15 minutes of the movie where you have a hope that something good will happen in the movie, but we quickly discover that the purposes behind bringing this group of kids together are entirely unsound and unexplainable and the rest of the movie has been constructed around random events placed in the film for no apparent reason other than to fill the obligatory 90 minutes minimum required for all non-animated movies.

Besides all of the rest of what makes this movie rotten, the worst thing of all is that there never turns out to be any plausible reason to have brought these four kids together in the first place to make them superheros.

By the time we arrived at the end of the movie, I cared so little about what happened to any of the characters, that I was just bouncing around in my seat, looking over at my wife and child and praying it would end any moment.

There are real reasons that this movie is nearly universally hated by professional critics and movie-goers alike and that is that this movie is entirely unoriginal, incoherent and borders on being unwatchable.
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