In 1963 I bought an 8mm cine camera and immediately began shooting my first (and only )movie.The opening shot(in glorious Agfacolor and filmed on location at the Sussex Downs near Brighton) consisted of a 10 second zoom (the very latest technological miracle) of a cow evacuating its bowels.After this inspired start things went downhill pretty fast and the whole thing ended up first on the cutting room floor and later on the Guy Fawkes Bonfire.I feel that the director of "Escape from Athena" could have learned from my experience.As 8mm film was available only in 4 minute reels at least my masterpiece was mercifully brief.You filmed for two minutes,took the reel out and put it back the other way round before continuing,inevitably "fogging" about 15 seconds at either end,which left you with about 3 and a half minutes of usable footage,so he and I have at least that in common. However,I would caution you about ploughing through this terrible movie just in order to watch the motor-cycle chase,it's good - but not that good. David Niven looks as if he had recently been exhumed,Elliot Gould does an impersonation of Chico Marx that palls very quickly.I'm not sure what Stephanie Powers was doing,but at least she had the good grace to look embarrassed.Claudia Cardinale must have had an unexpected Tax Demand. Roger Moore presumably was at a loose end for a couple of days and needed to keep his eyebrows in training.Telly Savalas gets to do what is without doubt the worst Greek Dance scene in movie history and any film that resorts to featuring Sonny Bono is in dire dire trouble. Anybody I have missed out may consider themselves lucky. I will not mention the plot because plot is not the four-letter word that immediately springs to mind in conjunction with this movie. If there is even an outside chance that you can choose to watch celery grow rather than sit through "Escape to Athena" I thoroughly recommend that you take it.
Review of Escape to Athena
