Review of Equilibrium

Equilibrium (2002)
1/10
A waste of their money and my time
17 July 2006
Warning: Spoilers
It looks good.

Well, that's the positive aspect of this film out of the way.

Quite simply, it's amazing that this film even got made, being nothing more than a sorry, derivative ragbag of pilfered ideas, with not a single one of its own to justify its existence. The nearest one can come to describing this Frankenstein monster of a travesty is "1984" crossed with "The Matrix", and the latter wasn't exactly blindingly original to begin with.

As if this isn't bad enough, the film is loaded with inconsistencies and plot holes, all shoddily papered over in the name of convenience as well as scenes and dialogue so hackneyed you can see them coming a mile off (and if you can't, you should really see more films. Preferably good ones). I actually uttered one line seconds before the character did, and had to stifle risible laughter when Preston came face to face with the itty bitty, cutesy-wutesy puppy. (In this scene, please note that the budget – having probably been spent all on bullets – didn't seem to stretch to any sort of animal training, as it relies on actors pointing off-camera and saying, "Stop it! It's getting away!" and reaching down, most unconvincingly).

Laughter, in fact, is the only realistic response to the majority of this farrago, if only to stave off the angry realisation that your time is being wasted. You want laughs?

AND HERE BE SPOILERS (although it's kind of hard to spoil something that's already this rank, IMHO)

In the lead up to the "climactic" fight, one character warns Preston that, should he get too close to"Father" (highly original name for a "Big Brother" figure, eh? Lucky they didn't call him "Uncle" or "Second Cousin Twice Removed") he'll be shot down by snipers. When the spit hits the fan, however, there are no snipers, not a one: only an endless parade of policemen, doing what they do best throughout: dying. Honest, these guys, despite their fierce get-up, turn out to be the most useless, butter-fingered cannon-fodder since the Imperial Stormtroopers in the original "Star Wars" (and countless other Z-grade imitations). Once you realise that they couldn't hit a barn door at ten feet and that their tactics seem to consist of merely lining up to get gunned down, you're left with no tension, nothing at stake and only the tedious sight of moronic sitting ducks being blown away, noisily, time and time and time and time again.

It doesn't help that, having walked Preston into a trap and taken his weapon, they don't think to search him for anything else, leaving him free to conceal guns and an abundance of spare ammo, as well as a complicated reloading mechanism...all up his sleeves. Good thing nobody shook his hand.

This is the film's idea of a "twist": a development so implausible, so gobsmackingly unlikely that it's an insult to any intelligent film-goer.

"Equilibrium" is the kind of film so shoddily made and yet so pretentious, it just cries out for a parody, or to be taken apart on any of the countless "Bad Film" sites that are on the net. It meets all the criteria for a Bad Film, that's for damned sure. It's one thing to be unoriginal –only a certain number of plots in the world, yada yada – but it's another thing to be quite so offensively cack-handed about it.
175 out of 317 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

Recently Viewed