Justice League of America (1997 TV Movie)
3/10
Remember that time when the Superfriends and the Power Rangers got really drunk and had an illegitimate child?
3 April 2006
Warning: Spoilers
As a comic book fan... you know what? Forget as a comic book fan. As a person who enjoys watching television, this thing is absolutely ridiculous. Seriously, this is implausible to a person who has spent their entire life being raised on television and comic books.

Let's start out with costume talk. These things look like costumes my mother made for my brother and me when we were twelve and eight and wanted to be DC superheroes (Technically, he was a villain, but Slade Wilson was always such a cool character, you know?). What is that thing that the Atom is wearing? It's like the costume designer just said, "How much Styrofoam can I fit into this costume? I need more." And what's up with putting green paint under Fire's eyes? It just looked stupid.

The writing is god-awful. Let me get this straight on the whole "I'm not Fire" thing. Leaving alone the fact that this woman looks exactly the same in and out of costume in front of the Martin guy, there's just the fact that when she's rejecting him, she's still wearing his earrings. This just threw me for a loop, man. If a guy gets you a present, telling you he spent a ton of money on it, and then you reject him? You give the present back. Especially if you're rejecting him within a minute of getting the present. The earrings thing should never have been a problem, cause the fact that she was wearing the earrings was ridiculous.

Plus, I love that ending, man. Everything winds up happy, right? Barry gets a job, Lantern gets his girl back, Martin gets a girlfriend, and Ice and Atom seem to have a beautiful relationship starting. Plus, there's the last shot of the League walking forward, each of them moving so stiffly that I think it might be a group superpower.

And don't get me started on the J'onn J'onzz thing. I know that David Ogden Stiers is a good actor, and I don't mean to be a purist or anything, but when I think about words to describe the Martian Manhunter, obese doesn't come to mind.

I watched this movie for free, and for shear camp value and maybe a laugh, it's good for about half an hour. (Not the first half hour, that's the slowest damn beginning I've ever seen.) But a half hour somewhere in the middle, if you're really bored, watch it on You Tube. But if you like the Justice League you should be willing to watch cartoons. Just go for JLU and enjoy yourself for 22 minutes.
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