Monster Man (2003)
5/10
At Least It Features the "Critters III" Girl
25 March 2006
While a parody of a lot of stuff and a genre hybrid, at its core "Monster Man" is another entry in the familial horror category started by "Psycho" back in 1960. The American family as demented in-breds who lure victims to a home they have turned into a slaughterhouse. Try to imagine a remake of Spielberg's "Duel" but instead of Dennis Weaver as the terrorized motorist you substitute an unfunny version of Laurel and Hardy; instead of the faceless tanker driver you substitute Leather-face from "The Texas Chain Saw Massacre"; and instead of a scary looking tank truck you substitute the big dune buggy from "The Road Warrier".

If this isn't bad enough you replace "Duel's" minimalist dialogue with a lot of Chatty Cathy banter from the pen of Michael Davis (the guy who gave us the script for "Double Dragon").

In "Monster Man" Stanley is called Adam (Eric Jungmann) and Ollie is called Harley (Justin Urich), a couple of students on a road trip mission to pull a "Graduate" type intervention at the upcoming wedding of Adam's unrequited love. The first 30 minutes of the movie are simply awful as there is no escaping Davis's horribly unfunny dialogue, although it could actually just be improv from the two marginal actors. Even the introduction of the "Monster Man" title character fails to improve things.

Then the film picks up a bit with the improbable appearance of "Mangler Reborn" girl Aimee Brooks, playing a voluptuous hitchhiker named Sarah. I began to actually pay attention at this point, in part because Brooks was the first sign that a professional actor was in the cast, but mostly because she is stunningly beautiful. Jungmann even gets to drool on her several times and I suspect that he financed the movie for exactly that purpose.

Unlike "Duel" the truck is not very threatening and Davis fails to generate much suspense but the production design is pretty good in a "Texas Chainsaw" kind of way and a lot of deformed people begin popping up in unexpected places.

For a short while near the end it looks like Davis is going to go out with an original ending and salvage the whole thing, turning it into an extremely twisted black comedy. Instead he wimps out and ends it conventionally. Which at least gives things a consistent retarded quality. Aimee can't entirely save this mess but she elevates it from painful to tolerable.

Then again, what do I know? I'm only a child.
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