1/10
Omega Code equals a Mega-mess
4 January 2006
The Omega Code, as we are quickly informed, is some secret words hidden in the Torah which will unlock the prophecies that will bring about the end of the world as we know it and with it the Rapture. As it turns out, God being all knowing and all seeing, saw to it that these codes could only be unraveled by computer.

Before the opening credits have finished rolling, there's this guy named Rostenburg (Yehuda Efroni) sitting at his computer where he has just finished deciphering The Omega Code. Just before being eliminated by a bullet hole to the chest, he rips part of the code out of his book and hides it in his shirt pocket. The guy doing the killing turns out to be Dominic (Michael Ironside), who is prancing about in the most ridiculous Rabbi disguise straight out of the Halloween Costume Department of Wal-mart.

After stealing the CD Rom which contains the computer program that unlocks the code, and not for one minute thinking to search the corpse, Dominic begins his escape where he is quickly confronted by two strange characters, who after showing Dominic that his pistol is no match for their "angelic" prowess, tell him to be on his way like a good little boy so he can kill a few more rabbis or priests or whoever crosses his path the wrong way.

Later on we will find out that Dominic is employed by a guy named Stone Alexander (Michael York) whose goal it is to rule the world by making sure the biblical prophecies are fulfilled. The best part of this opening sequence is that it let's us know early on that nothing in this film is going to involve logic, but at least the opening credits were finally over.

We quickly zoom back to the good old U.S.A. where we meet Tony Robbins wannabe Gillen Lane (Van Dien) just as he is about to appear on an Oprah TV like show hosted by Cassandra Barashe (Catherine Oxenberg). She doesn't seem too enamored of Lane as he comes bouncing out like Dr. Phil on steroids and immediately gets the audience applauding and laughing along with his antics as he preaches to them how they can release their own "empowerment." The funniest thing about this whole sequence is that the audience looks as if they were paraded over from TBN's Praise the Lord show and their laughter sounded like it was stolen from an old I Love Lucy episode canned laugh track.

Shortly thereafter we meet Gillen's wife, Jennifer (Devon Odessa) who is not at all amused by his globe trotting, book selling antics. Jennifer has two personalities, glum and glummer. There's also his daughter Maddie (Ayla Kell), who simply loves her papa regardless of what her dour mother thinks. Later, Gillen once again runs into the Oprah host Cassandra, who has mysteriously quit her television show to become a globe trotting reporter completely in awe of Stone. Stone, with Gillen's help starts shaping world events so that the prophecies of The Omega Code can fall into place, which in turn will make Stone more powerful than a locomotive, faster than a speeding bullet, and holier than Jesus Christ himself.

All of the events in The Omega Code take place over a period of about seven years, but the way this film is edited it could easily have been two days or two hundred years. We are never given any logical sense of time and place. Often, when Gillen is running from Stone's men or the police, he escapes but we are never shown exactly how. And he does a lot of running. At least a fourth of this film's running time is taken up with shots of Gillen running up the street or down the street or onto another street, running out of an alley or into a tunnel.

In another sequence he returns home and at first his wife Jennifer won't talk to him. Then she holds up a sign saying the house is bugged and immediately they begin talking about their escape plan. In another goofy moment, Gillen is at the home of a friend who is secretly working for Stone. Coincidentally and right on cue, when the friend has to pop into the bathroom, the phone rings, Gillen picks it up and it just happens to be Stone once again which enables Gillen to escape.

As for the rest of the cast, I have to admit I didn't mind Michael York's over the top portrayal of Stone. He made me fondly remember the lineup of villains on the old Batman TV series. As for Dien and Ironside, both of who took a right turn out of the bug hunting of Starship Troopers to appear in this mess, my suggestion is that they both re-enlist in the marines. Oxenberg does nothing more than appear as needed when the plot calls for it. Just about anybody could have phoned the part in . Too bad they couldn't get the real Oprah at least that would have been interesting, but you won't find Oprah within a thousand miles of this fiasco.

If Crouch and Company were trying to win over some converts with this film, they probably failed. I'm sure it pleased those who are already sending in their nickels and dimes to the TBN conglomerate, but it certainly won't convince too many others. The plot is convoluted and totally incoherent. The dialog is stilted and goofy. The directing and editing wouldn't even pass the mustard on a network hour long television show. Anyway, if you're a good Christian, I am sure you can find some good causes to send your money to instead of lining the pockets of the Crouches. It'll get you closer to heaven then this mess ever will.
6 out of 12 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

Recently Viewed