I knew it was going to be bad, but I like cheesy movies. And I knew it wasn't going to do justice to the D&D game, but I was open-minded to the effort. But good lord, this might be the worst movie I've ever seen.
Lots of people have shredded this movie in a lot of ways, so I've got little new to contribute to the mass lynching. But three quick summary points: The acting was embarrassing - the Jeremy Irons was clearly chewing up the set with a bad Christopher Lee impression, and Thora Birch really, really wanted to be elsewhere. Whichever Wayans got drunk enough to sign this contract was cringe-worthy, and the best thing he did was die (although he took too long getting about it).
The special effects were hilariously bad. The CGI for the sets was a distant second to Wolfenstein 3D, and anything involving 'magic' could've been better accomplished with a handful of colored yarn.
Finally, the plot was UTTERLY INCOMPREHENSIBLE. Our heroes are sent to find the Rod of Thingummy, because the Empress is about to lose her Whatchamacallit. As they mosey along, everyone says 'good lord, don't find the Rod of Thingummy, it's a horrible evil'. In fact, the only person that could be benefited by the Rod of Thingummy is Lord Sinister Big Bad. Still, our idiot heroes keep on trooping around, trying to find the Rod of Thingummy. THEN, the Empress doesn't even LOSE the Whatchamacallit in the first place, so there's NO need for the Powers of Good to get the Rod of Thingummy anyway. BUT THEY KEEP GOING. So, inevitably, they get the Rod of Thingummy (more warnings about 'don't find it' coming in along the way), and HEY, the BAD GUY STEALS IT FROM THEM.
Furthermore, that's what turns the tide of the war! The Empress was WINNING until our stupid heroes find the Rod and give it to the bad guys, what's up with that? Champions of the Realm?! They're idiots, and are personally responsible for the destruction of the city.
Which is, may I add, a good thing, as whatever Commodore 64 was building the cityscape graphics was clearly overheating at that point anyway.
Avoid at all costs. This movie is an abomination.
Lots of people have shredded this movie in a lot of ways, so I've got little new to contribute to the mass lynching. But three quick summary points: The acting was embarrassing - the Jeremy Irons was clearly chewing up the set with a bad Christopher Lee impression, and Thora Birch really, really wanted to be elsewhere. Whichever Wayans got drunk enough to sign this contract was cringe-worthy, and the best thing he did was die (although he took too long getting about it).
The special effects were hilariously bad. The CGI for the sets was a distant second to Wolfenstein 3D, and anything involving 'magic' could've been better accomplished with a handful of colored yarn.
Finally, the plot was UTTERLY INCOMPREHENSIBLE. Our heroes are sent to find the Rod of Thingummy, because the Empress is about to lose her Whatchamacallit. As they mosey along, everyone says 'good lord, don't find the Rod of Thingummy, it's a horrible evil'. In fact, the only person that could be benefited by the Rod of Thingummy is Lord Sinister Big Bad. Still, our idiot heroes keep on trooping around, trying to find the Rod of Thingummy. THEN, the Empress doesn't even LOSE the Whatchamacallit in the first place, so there's NO need for the Powers of Good to get the Rod of Thingummy anyway. BUT THEY KEEP GOING. So, inevitably, they get the Rod of Thingummy (more warnings about 'don't find it' coming in along the way), and HEY, the BAD GUY STEALS IT FROM THEM.
Furthermore, that's what turns the tide of the war! The Empress was WINNING until our stupid heroes find the Rod and give it to the bad guys, what's up with that? Champions of the Realm?! They're idiots, and are personally responsible for the destruction of the city.
Which is, may I add, a good thing, as whatever Commodore 64 was building the cityscape graphics was clearly overheating at that point anyway.
Avoid at all costs. This movie is an abomination.