When I was first introduced to "Mystery Science Theater 3000", I was completely unfamiliar with the concept of the show. All it took was one viewing of Experiment 820 "Space Mutiny" to get me to appreciate the unavoidable pull of such horrendous films.
This movie is so blatantly 1980s, there's no way anyone can respect it. The crew of dopplegangers on the Southern Sun include Captain Santa Claus, his daughter Shari Lewis, and Ensign Sting. But in spite of the arrival of the Bellarians (a group of Macarena-dancing psychics holding a wiccan Tupperware party in an attempt to oust the Benedictine Monks from the floorboards), all is not calm on the "Battlestar Galactica"-stolen ship, for deep in the bowels of its hundred-acre boiler room lurks Kalgon, who plots a mutiny and refuses to suffer "meddling fools" gladly. So in steps Slab Bulkhead...I mean, Fridge Largemeat...I mean, Punt Speedchunk...well, the beefy action hero with the intent of flattening evil and getting Santa's shapely "doctor lady" daughter in the sack (or the AstroTurf of her recycling bin garden, whatever). The murders of Ensign Rick Springfield and a serpentine-faced woman with an armadillo down her trousers (surprisingly, her death doesn't stop her from returning to her post one scene later) leads Bolt Vanderhuge to chase the pointy-faced Kalgon through the basement in a pair of Lark zambonis.
After this, Trunk Slamchest proceeds to bumble his way through the rest of the ship, coming across Bobby Boris Pickett's stash of frozen people and serving as the guest of honor at Sherri's birthday party. Of course, Kalgon is still plotting away, and despite the reluctance of John Waters to spill any information, Crud Bonemeal takes it upon himself to go after the greasy guy himself. During all this, Kalgon kidnaps the captain's daughter and practices for his dentistry exam on her, but she escapes by seducing the fat schlub manning the wall-mounted keyboards. Once she's reunited with Slate Fistcrunch, they GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! into the boiler room AGAIN and proceed to grapple with the entire mutinous crew. Slab Squatthrust gets a good workout of his golfball-sized lymph nodes and outmaneuvers every laser blast (but then again, the bad guys did set their phasers to "miss"). I won't give away the ending, but believe me, Big McLargeHuge proves to be an action hero of limited edge.
I highly recommend avoiding this glob of 1980s cinematic sludge at all costs - unless, of course, you've got Mike Nelson, Tom Servo, and Crow T. Robot in front of it. Then, by all means, go for it.
This movie is so blatantly 1980s, there's no way anyone can respect it. The crew of dopplegangers on the Southern Sun include Captain Santa Claus, his daughter Shari Lewis, and Ensign Sting. But in spite of the arrival of the Bellarians (a group of Macarena-dancing psychics holding a wiccan Tupperware party in an attempt to oust the Benedictine Monks from the floorboards), all is not calm on the "Battlestar Galactica"-stolen ship, for deep in the bowels of its hundred-acre boiler room lurks Kalgon, who plots a mutiny and refuses to suffer "meddling fools" gladly. So in steps Slab Bulkhead...I mean, Fridge Largemeat...I mean, Punt Speedchunk...well, the beefy action hero with the intent of flattening evil and getting Santa's shapely "doctor lady" daughter in the sack (or the AstroTurf of her recycling bin garden, whatever). The murders of Ensign Rick Springfield and a serpentine-faced woman with an armadillo down her trousers (surprisingly, her death doesn't stop her from returning to her post one scene later) leads Bolt Vanderhuge to chase the pointy-faced Kalgon through the basement in a pair of Lark zambonis.
After this, Trunk Slamchest proceeds to bumble his way through the rest of the ship, coming across Bobby Boris Pickett's stash of frozen people and serving as the guest of honor at Sherri's birthday party. Of course, Kalgon is still plotting away, and despite the reluctance of John Waters to spill any information, Crud Bonemeal takes it upon himself to go after the greasy guy himself. During all this, Kalgon kidnaps the captain's daughter and practices for his dentistry exam on her, but she escapes by seducing the fat schlub manning the wall-mounted keyboards. Once she's reunited with Slate Fistcrunch, they GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! into the boiler room AGAIN and proceed to grapple with the entire mutinous crew. Slab Squatthrust gets a good workout of his golfball-sized lymph nodes and outmaneuvers every laser blast (but then again, the bad guys did set their phasers to "miss"). I won't give away the ending, but believe me, Big McLargeHuge proves to be an action hero of limited edge.
I highly recommend avoiding this glob of 1980s cinematic sludge at all costs - unless, of course, you've got Mike Nelson, Tom Servo, and Crow T. Robot in front of it. Then, by all means, go for it.