The new thriller The Cave is inspiring! It's stupendous! Incredible! It will reaffirm even the most jaded movie goer's faith in the power of cinema and film schools all around the country will become overloaded with impressionable youth now newly inspired! At least, that's what would be said if Screen Gems offered ten burlap sacks stuffed full of Ben Franklin's to any willing corrupt movie reviewer.
Unfortunately the actual movie of The Cave is easily one of the worst of 2005, if not the sole possessor of such a coveted spot. Every single cliché that can exist in the "monster horror" genre is exploited to no end, and despite the lack of ambition the screenplay still manages to make very little sense.
That's not to say screenwriter's Michael Steinberg and Tegan West are the only ones worthy of blame. The acting is especially caught red-handed, showcasing amazing skills ranging from dead-pan delivery to dulled empty gazes. Whenever a character dies the real laughs begin, and lead actor Cole Hauser appears to be bored out of his mind.
It's not a surprise though. Hauser already did Pitch Black, another sci-fi creature feature very similar to this one except in the quality of the end product. Piper Perabo cannot be forgotten, either. Playing Charlie, she is a special standout because of the authenticity she lends to her character. Why aren't real genius scientists ever so hot and scantily clad? Or dumb? The real star of the show though is director Bruce Hunt who lavishes poorly lit sets and incomprehensible editing on his unsuspecting audience. Previously a second unit director, it is clear Mr. Hunt isn't quite ready for the big leagues yet. Instilling no mood or sense into his feature debut, The Cave stutters along painfully in search for cohesion or even a good scare.
Its okay Bruce, the University of Toledo has a nice film program. Maybe you should check it out.
Sadly, the rest of the movie isn't even worth talking about. The effects are pathetic and seldom used; the plot twists are, well, non-existent. The characters act in completely unreasonable ways and there are lapses of logic that require a bit too much suspension of disbelief, even for a movie about a cave full of supernatural beasts.
Best of all, the action scenes appear to have been shot by a man with severe epilepsy and the editor was most likely eaten alive by a shark before finishing. Far-fetched? Maybe, but it would explain why The Cave is edited and paced the way it is.
To be fair, though, it must be kept in mind that a movie such as The Cave isn't meant to be an award winner or a life changer. However, when all is said and done there is still a difference between entertaining and just plain bad.
Talent, and more importantly passion, can make even the driest overdone ideas interesting again, and even the average B-movie can have a certain magic to it. Sometimes a night at the movies is just meant to transport and entertain, and there's nothing wrong with finding huge mutated cave dwelling creatures entertaining.
However, in the end there is quite a bit wrong with The Cave. For a movie so devoid of any desire to stand out, it still stumbles at even the most basic levels. From the broadest elements right down to the littlest details nearly ever conceptual choice is flawed and underdeveloped.
Remember, a good creature feature probably won't be great art, but at least it won't be The Cave.
Critic's Conclusion: The tagline proudly proclaims "There are places man was never meant to go." Clearly any darkened movie theatre playing The Cave on end is one of them.
Unfortunately the actual movie of The Cave is easily one of the worst of 2005, if not the sole possessor of such a coveted spot. Every single cliché that can exist in the "monster horror" genre is exploited to no end, and despite the lack of ambition the screenplay still manages to make very little sense.
That's not to say screenwriter's Michael Steinberg and Tegan West are the only ones worthy of blame. The acting is especially caught red-handed, showcasing amazing skills ranging from dead-pan delivery to dulled empty gazes. Whenever a character dies the real laughs begin, and lead actor Cole Hauser appears to be bored out of his mind.
It's not a surprise though. Hauser already did Pitch Black, another sci-fi creature feature very similar to this one except in the quality of the end product. Piper Perabo cannot be forgotten, either. Playing Charlie, she is a special standout because of the authenticity she lends to her character. Why aren't real genius scientists ever so hot and scantily clad? Or dumb? The real star of the show though is director Bruce Hunt who lavishes poorly lit sets and incomprehensible editing on his unsuspecting audience. Previously a second unit director, it is clear Mr. Hunt isn't quite ready for the big leagues yet. Instilling no mood or sense into his feature debut, The Cave stutters along painfully in search for cohesion or even a good scare.
Its okay Bruce, the University of Toledo has a nice film program. Maybe you should check it out.
Sadly, the rest of the movie isn't even worth talking about. The effects are pathetic and seldom used; the plot twists are, well, non-existent. The characters act in completely unreasonable ways and there are lapses of logic that require a bit too much suspension of disbelief, even for a movie about a cave full of supernatural beasts.
Best of all, the action scenes appear to have been shot by a man with severe epilepsy and the editor was most likely eaten alive by a shark before finishing. Far-fetched? Maybe, but it would explain why The Cave is edited and paced the way it is.
To be fair, though, it must be kept in mind that a movie such as The Cave isn't meant to be an award winner or a life changer. However, when all is said and done there is still a difference between entertaining and just plain bad.
Talent, and more importantly passion, can make even the driest overdone ideas interesting again, and even the average B-movie can have a certain magic to it. Sometimes a night at the movies is just meant to transport and entertain, and there's nothing wrong with finding huge mutated cave dwelling creatures entertaining.
However, in the end there is quite a bit wrong with The Cave. For a movie so devoid of any desire to stand out, it still stumbles at even the most basic levels. From the broadest elements right down to the littlest details nearly ever conceptual choice is flawed and underdeveloped.
Remember, a good creature feature probably won't be great art, but at least it won't be The Cave.
Critic's Conclusion: The tagline proudly proclaims "There are places man was never meant to go." Clearly any darkened movie theatre playing The Cave on end is one of them.