3/10
It's out of control.
12 May 2005
Actually, if only, but I couldn't resist.

I was condemned to see this flick tonight, and that's an hour and a half of my life I shall never recover. An obvious and clumsy attempt to make Danza's then-current Who's The Boss? series into a theatrical movie, Danza replicates his overprotective father with a popular daughter to a near-pedophilic degree (something that, with more than a bit of irony, the film touches upon).

The script hits every cliché in the book, from ugly duckling turned into tousled-blonde It Girl, to crackers psychiatrist who turns out not to know anything about his subject, to the lolita in a swimsuit (with amazing lack of support) jiggling in the surf in slow motion, to the string of young punk suitors, to the Recapturing of Youth scene -- complete with candy-red Jag yet -- to the final scene of the younger daughter replicating the same behavior as the wayward lass. The resolution is far too pat, there are a few too many plot holes (excuse me, what orthodontist would pull braces from a minor on the say so of her father's girlfriend?), and surprisingly enough -- given that she loses few opportunities to do so on the 7th Heaven set -- Catherine Hicks is the only principal to avoid shameless overacting.

In this alleged comedy, there are few smiles, no laughs, and very little that is entertaining or edifying. Give it a miss, unless you're wont to use VHS tapes as kindling for your fireplace.

3/10, and that's fairly generous.
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