Cold and Dark (2005)
4/10
Cold, dark...and rather dumb
25 March 2005
Warning: Spoilers
"Cold and Dark" is a brand new and well-intended British horror/action flick with that may count on ambitious cast & crew members, a dozen of semi-good ideas and a couple of impressive special effects. Unfortunately the script and elaboration are far too messy to make it become a memorable film and I simply can't recommend it wholeheartedly, even though I really wanted to. The story revolves on two macho buddy cops (luckily they wear their badges around the neck, because they looked more like dock workers to me) who put a lot of time and effort in unraveling a network of human smuggling. The brains behind these illegal atrocities naturally are well protected and thus every action taken by our heroic cops turns out pointless. Until one day, officer Shade survives a mysterious incident in a freezer (I still haven't figured out what exactly happened there) and all of a sudden he enjoys monstrous powers. From then on, the two no longer await a boring trial and they make sure every villain's live quickly comes to a bloody end. You can tell that the "vigilante cop" premise isn't exactly original and the monstrous touch is, in fact, the only more or less inventive aspect. And then still this movie fails to impress because of its many boring sequences and the completely illogical structure featuring at times. The rough camera-work and voice-over are a little too obviously stolen from other "cool" films like "Snatch" or "The Boondock Saints", while the top-notch sound effects often miss their effect. And yet, there are several positive elements to detect in this production! A few sequences are downright dazzling (like the first massacre, set in a filthy restroom) and there are some delightfully absurd characters introduced. Like Dr. Elgin who seems to have escaped the Men in Black cast or the typically Scottish commissioner who yells really loud whenever he speaks and compares his police squad with a set of golf clubs. The black humor certainly is the biggest trump of this film. I would label this "Cold and Dark" a missed opportunity but I reckon Andrew Goth has the potential to grow as a director. This is only his second film after "Everybody Loves Sunshine", starring David Bowie.
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