Julien Temple struggles to make decent movies. After the appalling Absolute Beginners, a film that - despite all the promise and potential of a great novel and a decent cast and a soundtrack by Bowie - falls short of the target by miles, Temple manages to barge around with an admirable lack of skill here in this cardboard cutout piece of cheap music hall. Nothing works. The film is slow and stiff with long embarrassing moments of nothing. In desperation a bored viewer may grasp at the flimsiest piece of stale slapstick to let out a yawning chuckle, but mainly the film can only be enjoyed by those who find turkeys amusing.