I was desperate to walk out of this movie early. It took every ounce of willpower to stay to the end, and stay awake. Outside the theater, a patch of drying paint drew a crowd who were thrilled and excited by the action and lively pacing of the paint after sitting through this too-long, too-slow, unfunny waste of film and time. First, Ray Romano was like a lead weight around the neck of this movie. His presence on-screen sucked the energy and humor (what little there was) out of his co-stars. If you didn't think things could get any more inane than his dreadful television show, you were wrong. Not that he had much to work with. The script had all the complexity of a sitcom episode, with none of the laughs. As each scene unfolded, I could imagine director Donald Petrie shouting, "No, it's not bland enough! Think Wonderbread, but with less flavor. Blander! Blander!" Mr. Petrie, please, for the love of all that is good in this world, never make another movie again.
Review of Welcome to Mooseport
