Lordy Lord! Another crap sequel from the Hollywood stable of rubbish rehashes. I had low expectations of this movie....it doesn't have Vin Diesel in it for a start. But what I got was a collection of wooden actors and cheesy lines, interspersed with "race" sequences that made me laugh a lot. I should have realised it was going to be dire literally from the get-go. The Universal logo mutates into a chrome-plated wheel in the most irritatingly ludicrous manner. Spoilers ahead.
So what is so horrible about this film? For a start the acting sucks worse than a Dyson. The opening race meet scene had me cringing in my seat, hoping it would get better. It didn't. Then there's the plot, or lack of one. Let's rehash the first film and nobody'll notice. Bah!
The scripting is awful. The hero's buddy (name escapes me due to disinterest) actually steals something from a supposed drug-baron (again not sure if he was a drug-baron, was fighting the urge to read the paper at the time) whilst the latter is offering him a job. Come on! That makes about as much sense as ....well....nothing! You just would not do that, unless you were the world's most retarded individual. Sadly, his character survives the movie. Then there's the villain's two goons, who come across as stereotypical thick grunts who haven't had an original thought between them for years. Tiresomely predictable.
The cars all look like they've escaped from a Scalextric set, with the exception of the hero's racer, which has had the "mobile tanning salon" upgrade. Damn, but he's gonna get skin cancer and cattaracts if he continues to drive that! Then you have to wonder just what sort of engine can accelerate a car from 0-80 in gasp!, only 20 seconds! Such speed! G-Forces pulling.....can't continue.....review.....must hit....brake! Yep, I could take my old Vauxhall Vectra out and give these machines a run for their money! Twenty seconds....sheeeshh!
The crowning hilarity regarding the race scenes was that a) the cars apparently needed nitrous to reach 100mph, and b) When they hit the nitro the cars went into hyperspace. I'm serious! Everything blurred and streaked past. Everytime it happened I kept expecting to see Chewbacca pop up from the back, waving a wrench and going "Whoooaarrhg!" Give me a break! I have to say this had me in stitches every time it happened but I'm surprised they didn't resort to burning tire-tracks a la Back to the Future as well. So lame.
Another annoying fact is that Hollywood seems to think that 80mph is fast and 100mph only reachable by real racer types. Obviously they've never been on any British motorway. And our hero clocked 150mph in his death-defying leap off a bridge. It would all perhaps seem more impressive than it was, if the streets were narrower, or you actually cared about any of the characters. Or that a motorcyclist wasn't clocked on the M1 doing 157 mph. And he didn't even have R2D2 on the back, much less Chewie.
So, underwhelmed would be the best word to sum up this film. The racing isn't exciting, the acting is bad and the plot is some Miami Vice reworking with incredulous bits thrown in for bad measure. All in all, a better name for this film might have been "The Dull and the Repetitive"
So what is so horrible about this film? For a start the acting sucks worse than a Dyson. The opening race meet scene had me cringing in my seat, hoping it would get better. It didn't. Then there's the plot, or lack of one. Let's rehash the first film and nobody'll notice. Bah!
The scripting is awful. The hero's buddy (name escapes me due to disinterest) actually steals something from a supposed drug-baron (again not sure if he was a drug-baron, was fighting the urge to read the paper at the time) whilst the latter is offering him a job. Come on! That makes about as much sense as ....well....nothing! You just would not do that, unless you were the world's most retarded individual. Sadly, his character survives the movie. Then there's the villain's two goons, who come across as stereotypical thick grunts who haven't had an original thought between them for years. Tiresomely predictable.
The cars all look like they've escaped from a Scalextric set, with the exception of the hero's racer, which has had the "mobile tanning salon" upgrade. Damn, but he's gonna get skin cancer and cattaracts if he continues to drive that! Then you have to wonder just what sort of engine can accelerate a car from 0-80 in gasp!, only 20 seconds! Such speed! G-Forces pulling.....can't continue.....review.....must hit....brake! Yep, I could take my old Vauxhall Vectra out and give these machines a run for their money! Twenty seconds....sheeeshh!
The crowning hilarity regarding the race scenes was that a) the cars apparently needed nitrous to reach 100mph, and b) When they hit the nitro the cars went into hyperspace. I'm serious! Everything blurred and streaked past. Everytime it happened I kept expecting to see Chewbacca pop up from the back, waving a wrench and going "Whoooaarrhg!" Give me a break! I have to say this had me in stitches every time it happened but I'm surprised they didn't resort to burning tire-tracks a la Back to the Future as well. So lame.
Another annoying fact is that Hollywood seems to think that 80mph is fast and 100mph only reachable by real racer types. Obviously they've never been on any British motorway. And our hero clocked 150mph in his death-defying leap off a bridge. It would all perhaps seem more impressive than it was, if the streets were narrower, or you actually cared about any of the characters. Or that a motorcyclist wasn't clocked on the M1 doing 157 mph. And he didn't even have R2D2 on the back, much less Chewie.
So, underwhelmed would be the best word to sum up this film. The racing isn't exciting, the acting is bad and the plot is some Miami Vice reworking with incredulous bits thrown in for bad measure. All in all, a better name for this film might have been "The Dull and the Repetitive"