Its a bad sign when a talking parrot's more entertaining.
27 June 2004
I saw the movie as part of the 'Pirate 4-D' attraction at Thorpe Park, England. It was preceded, while everybody was filling up the auditorium, by a talking parrot doll at the front that gave out the usual safety brief, etc.

The parrot was, unfortunately, soon to be demonstrated to be the most amusing part of the show.

Okay, so the 3-D element of the 15 minute 'spectacular' was actually pretty good. There's a couple of 3-D wasps that fly at you and they're all animated quite impressively. Oddly enough, the water jets, wind jets and moving seats in the auditorium that qualify it for the bizarre '4-D' part of the title work reasonably well.

But what's the point if the movie itself is abysmal? I'm not being harsh either - the acting, scripting, 'comedy', camera-work, soundtrack; it's all as wooden as the scenery. You're not supposed to want to strangle the main character (some whining boy called 'Davey'), are you?

I can accept that it is aimed at kids and therefore presumably most of the money has gone on the 'ride' aspect of the movie. But why patronize children? It's like the film-makers knew that nobody was really going to take the movie seriously enough to critique it, but why is that an excuse for shoddy workmanship?

Still, I did like the wasps.
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