A husband steadfastly loves his self-centered and obnoxious wife and suffers for it. That's what I saw played out in this movie in excruciating detail. What the scriptwriters wanted us to see was a heroic woman who singlehandedly conquers her problems while putting Mr. Nice Guy Husband in his proper place (kicked out of the house, separated from his children, and generally punished for "not listening deeply" enough).
The thing I hate about this movie is the script and the skewed philosophy behind it. A faithful husband does the best he can to care for an abusive, alcoholic wife, love her, and hold his family together. He doesn't need a psychiatrist for the imagined sin of "co-dependency." He needs respect for taking responsibility for his family. That's the "for better or worse" part of marriage and the role of a parent. The wife who is so immersed in her own feelings that she is willing to let her daughters suffer the loss of their Daddy just to try to make herself feel better--that woman doesn't need understanding. She needs to get a handle on reality and see how many lives she is damaging.
This was not about the husband loving his wife too much. It was about the wife loving her husband and children too little. While we generally look at the world in shades of grey, I find it impossible to see the scriptwriters' version of marriage in anything but black and white clarity. Even the contrived ending was less than believable, and not in the least satisfying.
Andy Garcia and the older daughter gave beautiful performances. In fact, they were the reason I stayed with the movie to the end. Meg Ryan's cute persona did not work well here, but the smallness and pettishness of the wife came across. Meg was sufficiently mean to her children and coldly cruel to her husband to evoke distaste in the viewer.
I am amazed that Meg Ryan is still so proud of this movie.
The thing I hate about this movie is the script and the skewed philosophy behind it. A faithful husband does the best he can to care for an abusive, alcoholic wife, love her, and hold his family together. He doesn't need a psychiatrist for the imagined sin of "co-dependency." He needs respect for taking responsibility for his family. That's the "for better or worse" part of marriage and the role of a parent. The wife who is so immersed in her own feelings that she is willing to let her daughters suffer the loss of their Daddy just to try to make herself feel better--that woman doesn't need understanding. She needs to get a handle on reality and see how many lives she is damaging.
This was not about the husband loving his wife too much. It was about the wife loving her husband and children too little. While we generally look at the world in shades of grey, I find it impossible to see the scriptwriters' version of marriage in anything but black and white clarity. Even the contrived ending was less than believable, and not in the least satisfying.
Andy Garcia and the older daughter gave beautiful performances. In fact, they were the reason I stayed with the movie to the end. Meg Ryan's cute persona did not work well here, but the smallness and pettishness of the wife came across. Meg was sufficiently mean to her children and coldly cruel to her husband to evoke distaste in the viewer.
I am amazed that Meg Ryan is still so proud of this movie.