*spoilers herein; ignore them and watch this film at your own risk*
I am very sorry, Mr. Del Toro, but after sitting through yet another tepid horror film of yours, I am completely at a loss as to why so many genre fans refer to you as a "master of horror." Along the _The Devil's Backbone_, I have never seen such flagrant incompetence with the genre and its elements.
However, I gave this film a 4/10 because, if nothing else, we have a really neat concept here. I give Del Toro the credit he deserves for finally de-sexing the vampire and actually making it as disgusting in practice as it is in concept. The scene at the very beginning involving the fate of the alchemist is fantastic. Further, the idea of a (sort of alchemic/cybernetic) vampirism device is even brilliant and lends itself to all sorts of fun possibilities.
Unfortunately, beyond the excellent beginning sequence, ZERO of those possibilities are explored. Rather than focus on Jesús' descent into vampirism (despite his still real love for his wife and granddaughter), the film instead makes this a sappy treatise on silent intergenerational love, conveniently ignoring any real-world implications of anything Jesús says or does. Is the point that, if you love someone, you let them destroy themselves, as Aurora does in allowing Jesús to continue using the Cronos device? Or maybe if you love them, you bring them into incredibly dangerous, life threatening situations, as when Jesús brings Aurora into the jaws of La Guardia for no apparent reason.
Besides the thematic concerns, the script is just terrible. The last 20 minutes make absolutely no sense whatsoever if we are to believe that the characters can think at all. I couldn't help yelling at my television, "Will everybody please stop arguing for a second and just THINK about this?!?!"
WTF: Jesús has the Cronos device, and La Guardia wants it. La Guardia explains that he will share the device with Jesús, who refuses, saying that he just wants to die. La Guardia is delighted and says he will tell Jesús how to die if Jesús just hands over the device. Jesús refuses (?), saying that La Guardia must fulfill his end of the bargain and kill Jesús before the device is handed over (????). There is an ensuing struggle, in which Jesús kills La Guardia (?????????????????????) and attempts to escape with it (even though he wants to be rid of it). Angél (who never understood what any of this was about in the first place), seeing his uncle dead, is ecstatic because he is now rich. Upon seeing Jesús escape, he suddenly decides he wants to stop Jesús (although "why" is never explored; to my knowledge Angél does not know Jesús even has the device, nor would he be interested in it anyway). The only apparent purpose of this is so that Angél can die "the Disney villain death" by falling a great distance. Jesús is also killed, but Aurora, even though she knows of his wish for death, inexplicably uses the device to bring him back to life, albeit as a bed-ridden invalid. Exeunt.
What's dumber: that I actually sat through this garbage or that I will go see _Hellboy_? Oy.
I am very sorry, Mr. Del Toro, but after sitting through yet another tepid horror film of yours, I am completely at a loss as to why so many genre fans refer to you as a "master of horror." Along the _The Devil's Backbone_, I have never seen such flagrant incompetence with the genre and its elements.
However, I gave this film a 4/10 because, if nothing else, we have a really neat concept here. I give Del Toro the credit he deserves for finally de-sexing the vampire and actually making it as disgusting in practice as it is in concept. The scene at the very beginning involving the fate of the alchemist is fantastic. Further, the idea of a (sort of alchemic/cybernetic) vampirism device is even brilliant and lends itself to all sorts of fun possibilities.
Unfortunately, beyond the excellent beginning sequence, ZERO of those possibilities are explored. Rather than focus on Jesús' descent into vampirism (despite his still real love for his wife and granddaughter), the film instead makes this a sappy treatise on silent intergenerational love, conveniently ignoring any real-world implications of anything Jesús says or does. Is the point that, if you love someone, you let them destroy themselves, as Aurora does in allowing Jesús to continue using the Cronos device? Or maybe if you love them, you bring them into incredibly dangerous, life threatening situations, as when Jesús brings Aurora into the jaws of La Guardia for no apparent reason.
Besides the thematic concerns, the script is just terrible. The last 20 minutes make absolutely no sense whatsoever if we are to believe that the characters can think at all. I couldn't help yelling at my television, "Will everybody please stop arguing for a second and just THINK about this?!?!"
WTF: Jesús has the Cronos device, and La Guardia wants it. La Guardia explains that he will share the device with Jesús, who refuses, saying that he just wants to die. La Guardia is delighted and says he will tell Jesús how to die if Jesús just hands over the device. Jesús refuses (?), saying that La Guardia must fulfill his end of the bargain and kill Jesús before the device is handed over (????). There is an ensuing struggle, in which Jesús kills La Guardia (?????????????????????) and attempts to escape with it (even though he wants to be rid of it). Angél (who never understood what any of this was about in the first place), seeing his uncle dead, is ecstatic because he is now rich. Upon seeing Jesús escape, he suddenly decides he wants to stop Jesús (although "why" is never explored; to my knowledge Angél does not know Jesús even has the device, nor would he be interested in it anyway). The only apparent purpose of this is so that Angél can die "the Disney villain death" by falling a great distance. Jesús is also killed, but Aurora, even though she knows of his wish for death, inexplicably uses the device to bring him back to life, albeit as a bed-ridden invalid. Exeunt.
What's dumber: that I actually sat through this garbage or that I will go see _Hellboy_? Oy.