Remakes are usually a bad idea. Musical remakes are usually a VERY bad idea. Case in point: "The Women," in its original 1939 form, is a certified classic of brittle bitchiness and acidic wit. Moreover, it also happens to be very, very funny. "The Opposite Sex," its 1956 Technicolor incarnation, is witless and brainless, and also happens to be very, very funny--unintentionally. Mistake number one was remaking such a lauded film in the first place; mistake number two was adding men to the cast (the original was entirely female--down to the authors of the books in library scenes); and mistake number three was including ludicrous song and dance numbers. Mistakes number four and five, respectively, are June Allyson and Joan Collins, subbing for Norma Shearer and Joan Crawford. Allyson's wholesome persona actually isn't too bad for the role, but she can't act her way out of a paper bag. Collins, on the other hand, is glorious to look at, but has none of the bite and venom that Crawford brought to the table (obviously, by the time "Dynasty" came along, Collins had learned her lessons well). Ann Miller pinch hits for Paulette Goddard, and is her usual sassy self; but why is she not dancing in this so-called musical? The divine Dolores Gray comes off best as the catty Sylvia; where Rosalind Russell played her as a shrieking harpy, Dolores prefers a silkier approach. If she doesn't approach the virtuosity of Russell's performance, Gray at least injects some sorely-needed sophisticated bitchery to the proceedings. Finally, there's the ever-dependable Joan Blondell (although the fact that post-menopausal Blondell is supposed to be constantly pregnant tests one's suspension of disbelief) and an incredibly butch-looking Ann Sheridan, several years past her "Tobacco Road" prime. Really, there are two prime reasons to watch this mess: the insanely phallic calypso musical extravaganza, and the gloriously gaudy fashion show that the ladies put on for nearly 2 dizzying hours. Those looking for Clare Booth Luce's marvelous wit, look elsewhere. For those looking for glamorous, campy entertainment with no thought required--pop this baby in.